We we will be leaving today for Vegas and I will not be on the computer again until after we get home. I can't believe it's here already! Every hour it gets closer I get more nervous and a little sick to my stomach. I am trying to stay positive but for some reason it is much easier for me to imagine the worst possible scenario than it is for me to imagine the best. I hope that it's not some kind of intuition about how things will turn out. I want so badly to believe that Heavenly Father will answer my prayers and bless us with a healthy child, however I know that He has a plan for us and if a child is not part of our plan right now then that is just the way it will be. Just thinking about that breaks my heart though. My whole life revolves around trying to have a child... it's all I think about (when I am not thinking about Avery). I know it sounds pretty pathetic but seriously, I want nothing more than to have a healthy child of my own and I would give up every material thing I have if I could just have this one wish. If only there was something I could do to ensure that this FET be a success.
I want to take a minute to again thank an anonymous stranger who made this FET possible. I still don't know who you are but I can't thank you enough. I hope that someday I can repay you for your generosity and kindness. You are truly and angel!
And of course, to all of you who have been praying for us, THANK YOU! We are so thankful for your love and support. I am so glad that I chose to tell everyone about this FET rather than keep it a secret. You all give me strength to get through every day and I don't think I could have done it without you. I hope that you will continue to keep us, our embryos, and our doctor in your prayers. We need all of the help that we can get!! I love you all and I will post as soon as I can to let you know how it all went.
Tomorrow I will try to relax as much as possible. I have a massage scheduled (thanks MOM!) in the morning and a day of sunning by the pool and non-alcoholic frozen beverages all day long. Our FET is scheduled for 11:30 a.m. Thursday morning. We will need to be there at 11:00 and I will need to have a full bladder. You know of all the things that I am required to do to prepare for the FET... the full bladder is the worst part. Sometimes if they are running behind they will make you sit there for an hour or more with your bladder about to explode! Then they start pushing on your stomach to get a clear ultrasound picture and it honestly feels like torture!! That Dr. D is a very brave man for hanging out in that area while full bladders are being poked and prodded! However, it is quite amazing to watch on that ultrasound screen and the doctor let's those little embryos go inside of your uterus. How many people get to watch themselves get pregnant? It is pretty amazing. As I watch that tiny glowing dot on the screen I am silently praying for them to stick and hold tight!!
Thank you again, for everything! I will let you know how it goes on Thursday when we get home!! Wish us luck!