Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Sawyer 18 Months... plus some

I know... I am so behind! Sawyer is coming up on 20 months and I haven't even done his 18 month post yet!  I cannot even begin to describe how much I love this little boy!  He is so full of life and has such a sweet spirit!  He makes us laugh one minute and makes us want to pull our hair out the next!  He is busy, busy and has to be right in the middle of everything!  He has the cutest smile and most infectious laugh.  His little voice melts our hearts and I think he knows he can get just about anything he wants if he just asks for it.  He tries his daddy's patience every day (although Daddy didn't have much to start with) but he also has daddy wrapped around each and every chubby little finger! Skeet is the biggest pushover when it comes to his little boys... especially Sawyer.  I am sure as Cooper gets older it will be the same for him as well.  Here are a few updates on Mr. Sawyer.

He is currently around 25.5 pounds and at his 18 month check up he was 34 inches tall.  He was in the 92nd percentile for height and I believe around the 30th for weight.  He is just really tall and really skinny! He is wearing 24 month and 2T size clothes and is in size 5 diapers. 

He has been talking up a storm and been able to form 4-5 word sentances lately.  I have to admit that as much as I hate how fast he is growing up, it is nice to be able to ask him what he wants and have him tell us.  It saves us a lot of time and a lot of wasted food!!  Just last night as we were sitting in the Carl's Jr. drive through he said to me "I wan some fench fies".  It was so cute I could hardly get him a french fry fast enough!!   Most of the time we can make sense of what he is saying but occasionally he'll try speaking to us in his jabber language and we have no clue what he wants! 

He has finally developed a love for milk and we love to hear him ask for a "dink".  His favorite foods are currently bananas (nanas), cheese, corn dogs, chicken nuggets, spaghetti, oatmeal, eggs, berries of any kind, and ketchup, to name a few. 

He still adores Callie "Ca-die".  He loves to climb on her and give her kisses.  He went through a phase where he had to give her multiple treats a day but once she started having accidents in the house (the really nasty, stinky kind) we put an end to the numerous treats a day. 

His new obsession is plugging things in and turning things on and off.  He loves the Christmas lights on the house and according to him, all the lights are "pitty" and "boo (blue)"  We have no idea how to get him to stop trying to unplug and plug in the tree and other things around the house.  Especially now that he has figured out how to unplug the child proof outlet covers. 

He loves to play on our bed, have us chase him around the house, run around naked, get in the shower with dad, turn on his and Cooper's humidifiers full blast, pull things out of cupboards and drawers, and play with our iPhones or the iPad.  He prefers to be in your arms if you are doing anything so he can see what you are doing and make comments!

He hates having his teeth brushed, diaper changed, clothes put on, jacket put on, jacket taken off, going to bed, getting in his car seat, anytime daddy leaves, sitting in his high chair and getting out of the bath. 

We just bought him a booster seat so he can sit at the kitchen table and he loves it as long as we don't strap him in.

He likes to give you "5" and knuckles but it usually takes a lot of begging to get a kiss (unless you are daddy).  When he does give them, he gives the sweetest kisses and hugs. 

If I had time I would keep a journal of all the cute things he says and does.  He brightens our lives so much and we love every moment we get to spend with him!  He loves to make us laugh and is constantly being silly!  He is starting to love his little brother (most of the time) and loves to make him laugh and smile too.  He still gets jealous occasionally and tries to hit or push Cooper out of the way so we still have to make sure they are never alone together. 

I can't say enough good things about my cute little monkey.  He and his brother and sister are my reason for being and I am complete now that I am a mom!  I couldn't be happier.  No matter what else happens in my life, I know that I am so blessed because I have them and as long as they are taken care of and happy, nothing else matters!

Here are some fun pictures from the last couple of months...

tickle and boogie monster!!
At livestock parade

Sawyer's first snow

He didn't like being cold.

At all

still fits in the bumbo chair

Thanksgiving in Panguitch

Pumpkin patch

A Mother's Worries - Or at least mine...

I thought I worried about my boys before... before last Friday when I heard the awful news of the tragic event in CT.  Now, I am a mess.  I have always been a worrier... I get it from my own mom.  I worry over just about everything, but I especially worry about my boys.  Their health, whether or not they are eating enough, if I am being a good mom and a good example.  I worry about them getting hurt, emotionally and physically.  I worry that I might not be around to see them grow up and if that is the case, whether or not someone will make sure to tell them every day how much I love them, how much they were longed for and wanted, and how they made me the happiest mom on the face of the earth.  After last Friday, I don't want to ever let them out of my sight.  I just want to hold onto them and try to protect them from everything evil in this world.  I know I can't possibly do that but after everything I went through to get them here, with me, I sure do wish it was possible.  I feel guilt for bringing them into a world that has so much evil but I have been trying to remind myself that there is still much more good and I need to focus on that.  I need to teach my boys to focus on that. I have hugged and kissed on them so much over the last few days that I am sure they are sick of me, but I can't stop.  I can't stop telling them how much I love them and how lucky I feel to be their mom.  They probably don't understand me and they probably won't remember at this point but some day they will be old enough to remember and I want to take every opportunity I can, so there is never a question in their minds. 

The recent tragic events has caused me to reevaluate my life and try to prioritize things a bit more.  I want to be a good example to my boys and be the best possible mom I can be for them because they deserve that and so much more.  My goal is to strive to be better.  At everything.  At being a mom.
At being patient and understanding.  At being more spiritual and doing a better job of inviting the spirit into our home.  I want to be a better wife and give them a better home environment.  I am all too aware of the fact that I fought very hard, and prayed even harder to have children and I owe it to them and to our Heavenly Father to do the best possible job in raising them. 

The problem is that I have experienced loss.  No, my loss was nothing like those poor families in CT are feeling.  I did have to bury a child and I still think it is the worst possible thing a parent could ever have to do, but our loss was nothing close to as tragic as having your child's life ripped away by some crazed psychopath with no soul.  We were told early on that our daughter would die. We were given weeks to wrap our head around the idea.  It still sucks and we still miss her daily but our pain is nothing in comparison to what the parents of those 20 beautiful little children must be feeling.  However, I have still felt the grief of an immense loss and now I know that I am not immune to bad things happening.  I cannot say that bad things won't happen to me or my family because they have and I am painfully aware of that.  I have not been on a plane since my aunt Val died in a plane crash.  I am terrified of them now.  I am sure eventually I will get back on one but it will cause me some major anxiety.  Some days I get so anxious about and scared of what could possibly happen that I start to have mini panic attacks and I have to talk myself out of thinking certain things.  I think the only thing I can do to make myself feel better is to spend as much time with my family as I can and make sure that they know how much they are loved.  I will protect my boys as best I can but I know that some things are out of our control, out of my hands, and I need to just accept that and make the best of everyday, in case it is my last. 

Over the last couple of months I have been trying to make some decisions about work, school and my home life.  Whatever I choose can possibly make a big impact on my family and it's been a tough decision to make.  In light of recent events though I think I have finally made up my mind and even though I still sometimes go back and forth on the decision I know where I am leaning and it will mean big changes, and sacrifices for me and my family.  When things are final I will post more but as I have prayed about these decisions I have been trying to separate feelings of excitement and even of the spirit with feelings of anxiety.  Sometimes, to me, they feel the same and even are the same.  When my chest wells up with a burning sensation I have to take a minute and try to decide if that is my fear or if it is my Heavenly Father trying to tell me something, or even both, because if I am not paying close attention, sometimes I can't tell a difference.  Anyhow, whatever I do finally decide, I just hope it's the right choice and that our family will be better in the long run because of it. 

My heart, thoughts and prayers go out to everyone who has been directly and indirectly affected by the tragedy in CT.  How something like this could happen is beyond me but one thing I try to remind myself is that He is in control and He is merciful.  I like to believe that He was with each and every victim, calming them and welcoming them into his arms before the shots even reached them so they wouldn't have to die in fear or pain.  I hope that those left behind will allow Him to comfort them and bring them peace.  I hope that He will bring me peace so that I don't have to live in fear. 

Friday, December 14, 2012

Cooper 3 months

I am SOOOO behind!!  I can't believe my baby is 3 months old already!  I feel bad that I missed his 2 month update! He is growing up so fast but he's still a tiny little thing and honestly, I am okay with that!!  He is such a sweet little baby and his smile and laugh just melt our hearts!!  His older brother is even warming up to him and loves to see him smile too!  Cooper adores Sawyer and if they are ever in the same room he is constantly watching big brother and smiling at him!  Having 2 kids has been so much fun and I do realize how incredibly blessed I am!  They are also very lucky because they have a beautiful angel watching over them and I am so grateful for that as well.

A few things about Mr. Cooper, or Super Cooper as a lot of people are now calling him. 

He weighs 12 pounds 5 ounces and who knows how long he is... he's kind of a shortie!
He HATES tummy time.  It makes him so mad when he has to do it but he's getting better. 
He hasn't rolled over again for over a month.  Maybe the first few times were a fluke but I am not in a rush for him to be rolling yet anyway.
He smiles and laughs now.  Mostly at mom but he's done it a few times for dad.  Sawyer always liked Dad better so I am thinking maybe my Cooper will be a mamma's boy for a while!  No complaining here! He has the cutest dimples and the sweetest little belly laugh.  His favorite time to smile and talk to me while he is supposed to be eating.  He'll pull back, look up at me and give me the biggest grin, even if it causes him to get thoroughly squirted in the face with milk!
He has the strongest core for a baby.  He loves to be sitting right up and looking around.  If he's is lying on any amount of incline he will sit himself right up.  He still needs support but I can see him doing it by himself within a month or so.
He has started grabbing onto toys and other things and is so proud of himself when he does so!
He rarely cries but when he does it is a combination of the cutest and saddest thing ever!
He loves to be naked... but what little boy doesn't?
He sleeps okay. Usually he is only up once a night and then again around 5 or 6 when I have to get up for work anyway.
He loves bath time and kicking  in the water but hates to get his hair washed.
He currently is fighting his first cold, which brought on his first eye infection, that we are hoping doesn't turn into his first ear infection.  Even with being sick, he's still such a happy baby.
He is very wiggly and it makes it hard to cuddle with him so I take advantage of those rare moments when he'll sleep on my shoulder so I can get the occasional cuddle in!

Here are a few fun pictures from the past couple of months.  I adore this little guy!!