Saturday, April 30, 2011

Sawyer's Birthday

When I went in for my NST on Tuesday the 26th, I was prepared to beg Dr. Sanders, even bribe him if I had to, to do something to get my labor started.  Luckily, I didn't have to do either.  He walked into the room and asked me how I felt about meeting my little boy the next day.  He had already made the arrangements for me to be induced the next morning at 4 a.m. Because I was already dilated to a 5 and had just made it to 39 weeks, there was no reason we shouldn't just get things started.   I was so happy I couldn't thank him enough!  Skeet wasn't happy about the 4 a.m. thing but we were both so excited to meet our boy! 

So we told very few people and planned on just announcing his birth the next day.  I was so surprised when I slept really well that night and was up and ready to go the next morning!  We checked in at about 10 after 4 and the nurse immediately got me started on Pitocin.  Dr. S had ordered the fast track method, because I was dilated to a 5 and 90% effaced, they didn't want to drag out labor longer than they had to.  So they gave me a very high dose of the Pitocin and would increase it every hour until the contractions did their job.  Unfortunately Mr. Sawyer didn't like that much.  As soon as the Pitocin kicked in his heart rate dropped... it scared the crap out of me.  They turned off the pump, put me on my side, gave me oxygen and increase my fluid drip.  I started to panic and began thinking that we would have to get him out quickly by C-Section but fortunately his heartrate started to go back up.  The contractions however, stopped again.  Once they saw his heart rate had steadied out they started the Pitocin again at a much smaller dose.  The contractions began again but were very mild.  By the time I saw Dr. S at around 8 or 8:30 a.m. I had dilated to a 6 and he broke my water.  After that the contractions got very intense but still didn't have a pattern.    I decided that I would get an epidural in case they needed to get him out quickly since he obviously didn't like the Pitocin at all. 

By the time I got the epidural I was dilated to a 6.5 and the contractions were pretty painful... the epidural however, was not.  It went smoothly and within minutes I had relief from the contractions.  I could still move my legs though which was great!!  I guess in the last 3 years they got a new drug and it doesn't render you completely useless anymore.  After that, the only reason I could tell I was having a contraction was because I would get really short of breath when one would hit.  At some point Sawyer's heart rate dropped again and we had to back off on the Pitocin.  I was so relieved to have had the epidural now, just in case.  I did progress pretty quickly after this, even with having to lower the pitocin dose.  Before I knew it the nurse was telling me that I was complete and it was time to push.  Dr S came in and his excitement to meet Sawyer helped calm me down and prepare myself for what was about to happen.   The environment in the room was so laid back, Dr. S was joking with the nurses and me, and my mom and Skeet were just anxiously awaiting Sawyer's arrival.  Dr. S joked that we'd be done in 5 pushes... Oh how I wish that would have been true.  Even though I could still move my legs, I couldn't feel my contractions or the need to push at all.  They tried to tell me when to push but I was so numb I couldn't tell if I was pushing right, and I wasn't.  They turned off the epidural pump but it only helped a little bit before Sawyer's heart rate dropped dangerously low.  Dr S decided to get him out fast and asked for the vacuum.  He also did an episiotomy to help speed things



Hearing his little whimper for the first time was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard and I couldn't stop the tears.  They set him on my stomach as they cleaned him up and he just looked up at me.  All I could think was how incredibly perfect he was.  Then the nurse told us what time he was born... 10:13 a.m.  I asked her to repeat herself and then informed the room that 10/13 is Avery's birthday.  It was then I knew that she had been there the whole time, watching over her brother and us.  I felt such a huge sense of peace and I was so happy that I knew both of my children would be okay. 

I thanked Dr S over and over again through my tears, for making our miracle baby possible but the words could never express the gratitude I felt toward him for all he had done for us and how his presence there that day had been just what we needed to make it absolutely perfect!  I don't know if he'll ever truly understand how much we appreciate him and all he has done for us. 

The look on Skeet's face too... when he saw his boy... it was priceless.  The pride and happiness I saw there was something I will never forget.  I could tell that like me, he was instantly in love with this sweet little boy.  He watched as they took Sawyer to the corner of the room and cleaned him up.  I couldn't see much but I could hear Sawyers tiny little cries as they rubbed him down with baby oil and gave him his first shot.  He was so quiet the rest of the time, just looking around.  I loved the sound of his cries, the were so quiet and so sweet.

Since then things have been going pretty smoothly, considering.  Sawyer did have a mild case of Jaundice which required him to lie on Bili Lights for the first two nights he was home.  Other than that he seems very healthy.  He eats really well and sleeps even better.  I can't get enough of his soft skin and sweet smell.  I would hold him ever second of every day if I could get away with it.  I love him so much and don't know how I survived this long without him.  I know Skeet feels the same way.  We are both so "over-the-moon" happy right now, it's ridiculous!  I still feel, at times, that I am dreaming and that I will wake up any minute and he won't be real.  I hope with everything I am that that never happens.  I knew being a mother would be amazing but I could have never imagined this.  It is definitely something you have to experience to even come close to comprehending.  And it was all worth it, all of the treatments, the heartaches, the tears, the worries and the anxiety.  Everything we have been through, has made this experience so much more sweet and I hope I never forget how lucky I am. 

I welcome this new chapter of our lives with open arms.  I still miss Avery more than ever and think about her every time I look at her brother's sweet face.  I see so much of her in him and wish that she could be here with us to share in the joy of finally having him here, safe and sound.  I know that she is with us in a way though and I look forward to the day when we are all finally reunited!  I am the luckiest mom in the world to have two such beautiful and perfect children.  I know I don't deserve it but I am going to cherish this feeling and be the best mom I can be for this sweet little boy. 

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Introducing...

Sawyer Frank Houston
Born 4/27/11 at 10:13 a.m.
Weighing 7 pounds 9 ounces and measuring 20 inches long. 

We were instantly in love with this sweet little boy.  He is so mellow and just so much fun to cuddle. I am going to post the birth story eventually but right now I am too tired and just don't feel like it yet!  Sawyer is healthy and home with us now although he does have to stay on the Bili Lights for 24 hours because of Jaundice.  Words cannot express how incredibly happy we are!  Thank you to everyone for your love, support and prayers!!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

38 Weeks

I honestly never thought I would be doing this post!!  I can't believe we have made it this far!  We did a darn good job at keeping this little boy in... now he's refusing to come out!!  At our appointment today we were told that I am 4.5 cm dilated and 80 % effaced.  If I keep going at this rate, this boy will just be able to climb out on his own without me doing much in the labor department!!  I guess we'll see.  We have had a few false alarms and I think that maybe Skeet's nerves ( who am I kidding... mine too) can't take much more.  We are so excited to meet this little guy and at the same time I think we are both so scared to finally become full time parents. 



How far along: 38 Weeks




Size of baby: Only two more weeks before your baby makes his or her appearance. And what an adorable appearance that will be! Your little one isn't so little anymore — weighing in at close to seven pounds and hitting the height charts at the 21-inch mark (or less).






Weight gain: Ugh... 30+ pounds!!





Maternity clothes: Yes and running out of even those!!  If I could live the last part of this pregnancy in sweats I would be such a happy girl!!





Gender: BOY!!





Movement: Holy cow does this kid move!! I really think he is just ready to get out and stretch!! He pushes so hard sometimes it takes my breath away! I love it!! It is the most amazing feeling ever!






Sleep: My bladder seems to need emptying every 5 minutes, add to that some irregular but very uncomfortable contractions and sleep is getting more and more difficult by the day!






Symptoms: Contractions, back pain, swelling, heartburn, cramping... I think we're getting close!





Cravings: I still want to eat everything in site but the heartburn has been getting worse and so occasionally I'll think twice before eating something that will make the heartburn worse!






Best moment this week: Seeing my little boy twice in less than a week!! We had an ultrasound on Thursday and one again today!  He is so dang cute!!  I can't wait for everyone to see him!





What I am looking forward to: Holding my little man!  I can't wait to finally meet him!!

Friday, April 15, 2011

Waiting!!

I am so not good at waiting for something that I am really excited for.  I still can't sleep in on Christmas morning, I suffer through the days leading up to a big event or vacation, and waiting for this little boy to arrive is no exception.   At my appointment today we were told that I am now dilated to a 4, still 80 % effaced and it could be any day... or it could be another couple of weeks!  Dr. S said that at this point it's not my cervix that is a concern (he believes the delivery will be smooth and go wonderfully.. whew, nice to hear), the concern is whether or not this baby is ready to come into this world.  He said that at our high altitude, sometimes babies are just not ready at 37 weeks.  So, we wait.  He did do a quick ultrasound to measure the fluid levels and the levels look great.  My blood pressure looks great.  Sawyer looks great!!  He even checked the location of the cord for me, because it has been something I have been stressing about.  The cord is great and no where near his head or neck.  He is still head down although he is facing the wrong way... but that doesn't really matter until I am in labor. 

I was hooked up to the NST machine for about an hour and had only 3 big contractions (really big... ouch!) and a whole bunch of small ones, none of which had any kind of pattern.  So we wait...

Another concern is that Dr. S will be going out of town for 3 days next week starting on Thursday.  This makes me worry.  It is a huge deal to me that Dr. S delivers Sawyer.  If it weren't for Dr. S, Sawyer probably wouldn't exist.  It was Dr. S that listened to me when I asked about Ovarian Diathermy.  It was Dr. S that ordered the equipment necessary to do the Ovarian Diathermy.  It was Dr. S that made it possible for us to even do the surgery and it was Dr. S that supported us and cheered us on as we waited month after month to see if the surgery did what it was supposed to do.  Dr. S was a huge part of Averys' delivery too.  We wouldn't have all the amazing pictures of her and her birthday, if it weren't for him.  He has been our doctor throughout our entire infertility journey.  All 6 years of it.  Most importantly, he took my word for it when I told him I thought there was something wrong with me and instead of making us try for a year, he ran tests right away.  He has been the most amazing doctor and I don't think we could EVER have found anyone better.  We feel so lucky to have someone like him on our side fighting for us every step of the way.  He has saved my life and both of my children's lives at some point and I know he would have done anything to save Avery again, if he could have.  I hope you can tell why it is so important to me that it is Dr. S that hands Sawyer to me for the first time.  So knowing that he will be out of town for 3 whole days, this close to our due date, makes me a little crazy.  I want Sawyer to be ready and I want him to come before Thursday, because those 3 days would be complete torture for me with Dr. S gone!!  I don't really have my heart set on anything as far as this delivery goes... I am okay with anything that might come along, EXCEPT Dr. S not being there!!! 

This weekend Skeet will be celebrating his 36th birthday and I can't think of a better gift than a son. So it would be great if he came this weekend, but I won't hold my breath!!  Come on baby boy... anytime you are ready... I am ready for you!! 

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

37 Weeks - Full Term!!

How far along: 37 Weeks





Size of baby: With just three more weeks to go and at about six and a half pounds (though weight and height vary from fetus to fetus), your baby is doing just fine. You can expect weight gain to be about half an ounce per day. (Boys, though, are likely to be heavier at birth than girls.



Weight gain: Ugh... 30+ pounds!!




Maternity clothes: Yes and running out of even those!!




Gender: BOY!!




Movement: Holy cow does this kid move!! I really think he is just ready to get out and stretch!! He pushes so hard sometimes it takes my breath away! I love it!! It is the most amazing feeling ever!




Sleep: My bladder seems to need emptying every 5 minutes, which makes sleep difficult to come by!!





Symptoms: Contractions, back pain, swelling, heartburn, cramping... I think we're getting close!





Cravings: I still want to eat everything in site but the heartburn has been getting worse and so occasionally I'll think twice before eating something that will make the heartburn worse!





Best moment this week: Finding out that I am 3.5 cm dilated and as of this morning 80% effaced!! I know it could still be a while but it's exciting to know how close we really are!!





What I am looking forward to: Meeting my little man!  We are all ready to go; car seat installed, bags packed, camera charged!! Last night my contractions were regular for about 45 minutes which scared us both but they quickly became irregular again.  It did give Skeet and I both a little bit of a panic attack though, thinking that maybe it was really time!

Friday, April 8, 2011

When??

I think I got a little over excited with our news yesterday! I didn't think to ask Dr. S how long we could go at a 3.5 and 70%.  With Avery, my water broke and I was only 1 cm dilated.  From what I have heard in the last hour or so, we could go another 3 weeks where we are at right now.  I am not sure that is going to happen, with my malfunctioning cervix and all.  So Sawyer could come this weekend, or he could wait until much closer to his May 3 due date... we just don't know.  I promise though, that I will try to keep everyone posted on things.  We are hoping to remember to grab the laptop before heading to the hospital so that Skeet has something to play with and so that I can do an update here and there.  But if for some reason we forget it, I am sure my sister would be happy to log on to my blog and post the news!!  I am trying to not get my hopes up just yet.  I plan on making sure my house is in order and cleaned and then I'll just take things one day at a time.  As long as this little boy stays healthy and strong, I'll let him stay put until he is ready to meet us!

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Progression!!

At my appt. today we found out that I am 3.5 cm dilated and 70% effaced... I can't believe we could be meeting him really soon!  I go back on Tuesday for another non-stress test.  Maybe we'll make it to Tuesday!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

36 weeks! Seriously? Wow!!

I am not going to go off this week on one of my little vents... just want to say how incredibly awesome it feels to make it to 36 weeks and to know that in one week little Sawyer will be considered full term and could come any time!  It is crazy to think that within the next 4 weeks, we will have a little boy.  That we will finally be holding our miracle!  So awesome!


How far along: 36 Weeks







Size of baby:  Your baby is now about six pounds in weight and measures slightly more than 20 inches in length. Growth will experience a slowdown now, both so your baby will be able to fit the narrow passageway to the outside and also so he or she can store up all the energy needed for delivery.






Weight gain: Ugh... 30+ pounds!!





Maternity clothes: Don't even get me started... it takes me 30 minutes just to find something to wear that still fits! My belly likes to hang out of the bottom of even my maternity shirts these days!  Skeet was even laughing at me over the weekend because I was wearing a maternity t shirt and the lower half of my belly kept sneaking out.  I do think that the shirt had shrunk though...




Gender: BOY!!





Movement: Holy cow does this kid move!!  I really think he is just ready to get out and stretch!! He pushes so hard sometimes it takes my breath away!  I love it!! It is the most amazing feeling ever!




Sleep:  Sleep this past week has been almost impossible!  I have been sick with a bad cold and it has been rough.  I think I am finally starting to feel better though so hopefully for the last few weeks of this pregnancy I'll be able to get at least some sleep so I don't start out this motherhood thing sleep deprived!





Symptoms: Back pain, feet and hands swelling, heartburn, headaches, braxton hicks, occasional cramping, gas, constipation, itchy skin, acne (bad acne), ... the list goes on and on but to be honest... I LOVE IT!!






Cravings: I still crave everything... and eat almost everything, but in the last week I have noticed the discomfort of eating too much.  Not sure why it started out of nowhere but I am having issues with being full without feeling full.  I know I can't fit anything else in there because I am already so uncomfortable, but my brain is telling me I am still hungry.  Oh well!!




Best moment this week: Maternity photo shoot went great!!  I can't wait to get the edited pictures back to show everyone!  I was able to see the non-edited proofs and pick out my favorites.  My face has really filled out but I will still pleased with most of them and cannot wait to see how they look edited! 





What I am looking forward to: I have an appointment with Dr. S this week!! I am curious to see if we are progressing any more.  I wonder when this little boy will make his debut?  I have been trying to cherish every moment of the remainder of this pregnancy but being as sick as I have been it's not been easy.  Every time I sneeze or cough I chance peeing my pants... and we all know that isn't a pleasant experience.  I think we are finally ready for him though, meaning we have everything we need.  We still need to set up his swing but other than that I feel like he could come and I wouldn't be too stressed out.  Mentally, we are not really going to ever be ready.  We will just be thrown into this parenthood thing like all other first time parents and we'll figure it out as we go!  I can hardly wait!!