Thursday, May 21, 2009

Another update

Well not much to report here. I feel like I could be going crazy waiting for Saturday to get here. As far as symptoms go, I am over analyzing everything. I have been having a lot of cramping everyday since the transfer. My breasts are sore, I get sick to my stomach if I don't eat every couple of hours, I get heartburn if I even look at food and I am exhausted. However, all of those symptoms could be a result of the many, many hormones that I am taking. Right now I am on 2 estrodial pills orally, 3 x a day and one vaginally at night. I am taking 2 prometrium (progesterone) pills 4 x a day, and then of course there are they PIO (progesterone in oil) injection 2 cc every night. I have huge knots on both sides of my tush already. I try massaging the area and using a heating pad and I am sure they work a little bit but I am still in pain! My tush looks twice as wide as is normally does because of the swelling. I am still taking Zantac 2 x a day (but it doesn't seem to be working very well). I am also still taking my prenatal vitamins which are 2 pills. So if you add it all up that is 19 pills I am putting into my body every day! No wonder I feel sick!

My moods are all over the place too. One minute I feel so happy and optimistic, thinking that in 9 months I will be holding my miracle child. Then the next minute I am on the verge of tears (and in tears when I am alone) because I am so sure it didn't work.
I have been taking it easy, maybe too easy actually. I haven't cleaned my house in over a week. I did do a couple of loads of laundry yesterday but was too tired to fold any of it. Work has been so dead and quiet and it is really killing me! I mean come on! The week that I need to stay occupied so that I am not thinking constantly about my beta test ( the blood pregnancy test) on Saturday is the same week that my office becomes a ghost town. I haven't even been able to take lunch breaks so I have been sitting here for 9 hours straight every day! So, I sit at my desk trying to do busy work but my mind is constantly wondering what the result will be. I know people say " just try to relax and not think about it" or "just be positive" but those people have not been in this situation. There is absolutely no way that either of those attitudes are possible when you are waiting to find out if you one and only embryo, your one and only chance at carrying a healthy baby, has implanted and you are pregnant. NOT THAT EASY!! I know worrying doesn't help, but I am genetically programmed to worry... I worry about everything ( ask Skeet) and I can't help it (thanks Mom!). The only thing I can do is try to stay busy and hope that whatever I am doing can help the hours go by a little bit faster. I honestly wish I could just sleep through it all until Saturday, and with as tired as I have been the past couple of days... I don't think sleeping that long would ever be a problem!

I was supposed to drive to Vegas for our Beta but I have decided to drive to St. George instead. If I get the blood drawn here in Cedar there is a chance that I won't get the results on Saturday because they send the blood to St. George to run the tests, so I figure just cut out the middle man. Drive 40 minutes instead of 2.5 hours and get it over with so I can resume my activities I had planned for Saturday. Being Memorial Day weekend, Skeet and I will go out to the cemetery and clean Avery's headstone. I am not sure if she will have many visitors but I want it to look pretty if she does. I would also love to get my garden started and maybe plant some flowers. Plus I have been dying to see "Angels and Demons" since I read the book a couple of weeks ago so I am hoping I can talk Skeet into taking me to it. Of course, if my Beta comes back as negative, I will most likely spend the rest of the long weekend locked up in my room crying my eyes out.

If any of you were wondering... out of all the things that I have to do to get pregnant... waiting is the absolute worst part.

Oh yea, my friend Carrie posted more pictures from our trip, they turned out way better than mine.

13 comments:

Amy Jo said...

Thanks so much for the update. Keeping you in my prayers and looking forward to the results on Saturday.

Mandy said...

Thanks for keeping us posted. We will certainly be keeping you in our thoughts and prayers. Can't wait to hear about the results.

Jennifer said...

Been wondering how you're doing. I'm still praying for you every day!

Patty Sampson said...

I know what you mean about the waiting. The only thing that ever helped me was to try to absorb my mind in something else- at least while I was at work. Researching topics (best cookware, vacation spots) helped a lot. I even put together bogus Powerpoint presentations and did digital scrapbooking when I could. I will be praying for you.

The Valiant Family Updates said...

I'm praying for you and I'm hoping that not only are you caring one miracle baby, but that your snow baby split into TWO!!! I really am so hopeful for you Candi!!! God is good and I hope He answers our prayers with a big YES-a nice high HCG level would ROCK!

Hugs, Renay

Julie said...

Hi Cookie (that's what Loretta and I used to call you!)...I met you when Carrie invited you to our Bunco parties a few years back. \I'm so sorry for all that you have gone thorough, you're in my thoughts and prayers and I hope all is good for you this time around!

The Buhler's said...

The waiting game is not very fun at all. I'm sorry that work is so slow and that you don't have things to keep you busy. We are keeping our fingers crossed and sending many prayers to Heavenly Father for you guys! Love ya dearly.

Never forgetting Gregory said...

There is no way you could just "relax". Waiting to know is the absolute worst. I'm sorry you aren't super busy and occupied and your mind has so much time to wander. I hope the days fly by at a faster pace for you. Fingers crossed.

Lindsay-Weaver said...

It's amazing how slow time can go by, isn't it? :) Praying that you get the best news ever this weekend! ((HUGS))

The Schexnayders said...

opps... "stay positive" and "try to take it easy and relax" are the things I said to you last night. Im sorry.... you are right I have no idea how you feel right now and its so hard to know what to say. I hope God hears our prayers and the wait is worth while.

Lane said...

So I saw this really cute sign the other day "I've never been my mother's daughter more..." and that is so true. I get ridiculous worries from my momma. Like uncontrollable worries - so I feel ya.

Praying for the best!!! :)

Byron said...

Hang in there, it will all work out. I know that sounds crazy, but it will. you are in our thoughts and prayers. No one can really understand what you are going through, not even those that have gone through it. Stay positive.

Lisa said...

Hang in there, only 1 more day till Beta. Praying you get that BFP tomorrow. Take Care,