Thursday, August 6, 2009


I have had a lot of people ask me if I have given certain options any thought. I thought I would do a quick post to answer these questions.

Donor Eggs - yes this is always a possibility but still costs money and probably more than using my own eggs would. I am still torn on this one because of the idea of the child I am carrying only being Skeet's and a strangers. Is that something you tell your child? Right now I don't know if like this idea but it changes daily.

Surrogate - There is nothing wrong with my uterus. My eggs wouldn't be any better with someone else carrying them than they are with me so a surrogate really isn't a good option for us. Plus the whole reason I did IVF in the first place is because I wanted to be able to carry a child. It is something that I have always wanted to experience. I know that I experienced it with Avery but the end result was not ideal and I would love a second chance. This option also costs more than we can even imagine paying.

Foster Care- I love this idea... however I would need to start with babies and in order for the state to allow anyone under 3 or 4 into your home, one parent needs to be home all day. With the debt we have racked up from doing IVF and finishing our back yard there is no chance that I could ever quit my job to stay at home with foster kids. We just couldn't afford it. I know they pay you but it's not really enough to replace my income.

Adoption through LDS Family Services - This would be ideal but Skeet and I don't meet the requirements to use this service and we may never. That is all I will say about that.

Adoption - Although the entire process scares the life out of me, I would do this in a heartbeat if we had the money to. It would be ideal if I met a woman on the street who wanted to find a family for her baby and it was all done privately (because that costs a lot less) but that isn't likely to happen.

Basically our problem is not really deciding what to do right now... it is having the funds to do anything. I am working on getting some of our debt taken care of but it might take a couple of years and I don't want to accrue any more in the mean time. Why is it that people who are well off can get pregnant in the blink of an eye but those of us who are just average can only have a baby if we can come up with loads of cash?? Doesn't seem fair right? There should be some kind of rule in place that rich people have to pay for babies... and us not-so-rich people don't have to! In an ideal world... no one would have to pay money to get a baby. If a baby needed a home a couple would go through a screening process and then they would get to take that baby home and love it and care for it. Oh I shouldn't even get started.... but seriously, if I have to give up all my money for a baby... how am I supposed to send it to college? Just a thought.


Lindsay-Weaver said...

You said it perfectly. I've thought through every process, and I'm in about the same boat. I'm sure you get more than enough advice, and it needs to be yours and Skeet's decision what to do. It's so hard, it shouldn't be so hard!

The Schexnayders said...

I agree with you. If there is are good people out there that would be good parents they should get a break on the cost. Just because someone has a lot of money doesnt automatically make them better parents for a child that is out there needing a home. Like I said before.. Im going to start playing the lottery for ya!

I love your new background and how you posted Avery's song on the front of your blog. I love that song.