Saturday, September 20, 2008

Update

Thank you, first off, to everyone that has been praying for us. I guess God's plan did not include us having a child at this time. As I am typing this I am experiencing my first miscarriage ever. I am devastated but know that I can get through this.

At my appointment on Thursday Dr. Sanders saw a sac but still no baby. It was determined that I had a blighted ovum or what they now call an early pregnancy failure. The embryo implanted but a baby never started to develop. I was given the choice of waiting for a miscarriage to occur on its own, which could have taken up to 5 more weeks, or I could induce a miscarriage. I decided to get it over with and started the process last night. It has been painful but I take comfort in knowing that there was never a baby. So yes, I am losing a pregnancy, but at least I know I am not losing another baby.

We will speak with our Dr. in Las Vegas after I have recovered and will discuss our options for the future. I am trying not to think about it right now, I don't know if I am ready to go through all this again just yet.

In the mean time I will be praying that the Lord will help me to get through every day. The He will keep me from breaking down every time I am in the presence of a pregnant woman or a sweet little baby. I have no idea how I will cope with that but I don't think I have a choice. Especially because I have two sisters-in-law that are expecting. I want to be happy for them but that doesn't keep my heart from aching.

Avery's 1st birthday is quickly approaching and I think I need to focus on getting through that in one piece. Thank you again for your prayers.

11 comments:

Amy Jo said...

Oh Candi, I am so sorry you are going through this. Try to keep your spirits up and know that my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Kari said...

Candi, you are in my prayers.

Jennifer said...

Candi, I am so sorry. Please know that I am sending you all my love and even though you can't feel it, a GREAT BIG hug.

Kate said...

Oh Sweetie I am SO sorry.....that is all I am going to say I know that nothing else that I could say would make ONE bit of difference....Im thinking of you and just wanted to let you know that I love you and I am SORRY.
I will call you later in the week. I love you so much
Kate

Charise said...

Hey.. I know you still dont want to talk on the phone so I just wanted you to know that I am really sorry. I wish I was there to buy you ice cream and give you a big hug but Im not so... Just know I think about you every day and I still have hope for you and Skeet to have a family of your own. Love you tons. your sis...

Tonya said...

Candi love, I am so sorry!

Oh how I was hoping! I am giving you hugs right now sweetie and if I can do anything, please let me know!!

Lane said...

I'm so sorry. My thoughts are with you and the family.

Lane said...

I'm so sorry. My thoughts are with you and the family.

TIM & MISTY said...

Candy, You are such a special person and you deserve so much more. If only we could see the whole picture right now. I'm praying for you and that you can find the strength to take the next step in life (whatever you decide it is). Take Care!

Misty

Amy said...

Candi,
I am so sorry for the loss of your pregnancy.
Thank you so much for your blog. I recently lost my baby girl to a lethal skeletal dysplasia, and it is so helpful to read about your journey.
Would you mind if I posted a link to your blog on my blog?
www.lovinglittleleah.blogspot.com. My email is on there...
thanks!
Amy

NEILANDSHALON said...

I AM SO SORRY CANDI. I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT YOU A LOT LATELY. IF YOU NEED ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING--PLEASE CALL. I LOVE YOU- YOU ARE IN MY PRAYERS.