Saturday, September 13, 2008

Misleading

I have to apologize to everyone. I think a lot of people believed after my last post that I had miscarried. Well I haven't... yet. At the time of my last post I might as well have. I felt like I had been betrayed in some way. I thought for sure that it was all over and in a way I still feel that it could be.

My doctor wasn't pleased with the 236 beta and decided he wanted to do an ultrasound. Skeet and I went to Las Vegas this past weekend to do that ultrasound and some more blood work. The ultrasound showed a small sac. And when I say small... I mean almost microscopic. Well maybe not that small but it was small. He decided he wanted to just keep watching my numbers and as long as they are going up, even if it is just a small amount, he wants to treat it as a pregnancy. Basically he said that all we can do is wait and see. I interpreted it as I get to wait until I miscarry. He still thinks that it will be the final outcome of this pregnancy.

My beta number came back as a 419 on Friday so it had not even doubled since Monday. It still doesn't look good. I am going to see Dr. Sanders for another ultrasound and more bloodwork on Thursday.

I am starting to have more pregnancy symptoms which only makes this harder. I am trying with all my strength not to get attached but when I feel pregnant, it is hard not to. I cannot express how much all the thoughts and prayers mean to me. I feel so blessed to have such amazing friends, Thank you!

8 comments:

Amy Jo said...

Thank you for the update...I've been thinking about you all week. All we can do is put this in God's hands now. I know that is easier said than done. Try to stay positive..the numbers are still going up. Continued prayers for you and Skeet.

Jennifer said...

I was JUST going to email you to see how you are doing. Thanks for giving us an update and know that we are waiting and praying with you.

Clare Dungey said...

Hang in there honey and put your fears and worries in God's hands. Still praying like mad for you!

Love Clare xx

Leslie Mortensen said...

Candi
We will be praying for you guys. Thanks for letting us know how things are going. I think your amazing!

Bree & Joey said...

Hey Girlie!! I just want you to know that I am thinking of you and hoping for the best!!! My prayers are with you!!!

Tonya said...

Candi! I have missed so much!! Sweetie I will pray with everything I have that Lord wraps his arms around you and gives you the strength to handle what he has in store!

I will check in often!!

TIM & MISTY said...

Hi Candi, I hope you don't care that I linked to your blog through Kristy's. Although we haven't stayed in contact (like we said we would), I have had you in my thoughts and prayers for over a year. I had only heard a little of what was going on, but now understand so much better. Thank you for sharing such a personal story. I know it's helped me to hear from someone who has been through the same (and so much more) than me. I know you have a ton of awesome friends and family, but just know that I'm there too if you ever need someone else to talk to. :) Being someone who has wanted a baby for so long myself, I can see how hard it must be to go through and to understand. Earlier in your blog, you mentioned that you started going to church again... I've just recently started going to church again and although it is really hard sometimes, I get a sort of peace when I'm there and I know it's worth the effort. I hope it does the same for you. If you don't mind, I will keep checking in and I'll also keep you in my prayers. :) Talk to you later!

BRYAN'S YAYA said...

Candi how are you? I have been worried about you and hope to hear soon how you are.

Praying for you,

Candi
YaYa to Bryan