I have to apologize to everyone. I think a lot of people believed after my last post that I had miscarried. Well I haven't... yet. At the time of my last post I might as well have. I felt like I had been betrayed in some way. I thought for sure that it was all over and in a way I still feel that it could be.
My doctor wasn't pleased with the 236 beta and decided he wanted to do an ultrasound. Skeet and I went to Las Vegas this past weekend to do that ultrasound and some more blood work. The ultrasound showed a small sac. And when I say small... I mean almost microscopic. Well maybe not that small but it was small. He decided he wanted to just keep watching my numbers and as long as they are going up, even if it is just a small amount, he wants to treat it as a pregnancy. Basically he said that all we can do is wait and see. I interpreted it as I get to wait until I miscarry. He still thinks that it will be the final outcome of this pregnancy.
My beta number came back as a 419 on Friday so it had not even doubled since Monday. It still doesn't look good. I am going to see Dr. Sanders for another ultrasound and more bloodwork on Thursday.
I am starting to have more pregnancy symptoms which only makes this harder. I am trying with all my strength not to get attached but when I feel pregnant, it is hard not to. I cannot express how much all the thoughts and prayers mean to me. I feel so blessed to have such amazing friends, Thank you!