There’s this club, no one wants to join, no one asks to join, and you aren’t a member of this club until you are. Only other members of this club can even come close understanding you, what you’ve been through, what you’re feeling. And though no one wants to be a part of this club, every member knows exactly what other members need to get through each day, so they lean on and support each other. We all ask ourselves, why did we have to be a part of this club? Why couldn’t we have gone on blissfully in life not knowing that this club even exists? We would have rather lived our lives not knowing the wide variety of extreme emotions that go along with being a club member.
No, no one wants to be a part of this special club, but here we are. I like to believe that we were chosen to be here because of our strength and because of our faith. We were given a very special gift, a child too pure and too good for this world. Whether we held our children for a few months or for only a short moment or maybe not at all, we all were chosen especially for that child. If our child had gone to anyone else, they may not have been appreciated or loved the way that they needed to be in order to make a difference on this earth. Their journey in this life was so short that they needed parents and families that would forever remember them and love them, no matter what the situation. They needed us to make sure that the rest of the world knew that they existed and that they were loved.
And maybe we needed them too. I am sure you have heard, while traveling this rough road, someone say how strong you are and how they could never have survived such an ordeal. I am sure at some point in our lives we all thought that too. However, our babies came and showed us how strong we really are. They showed us how to love, how to cry, how to lose and how to recover. We would give anything to have them back but because of them we have seen our own strength, strength we never knew we had. Now, we can reach out to others and help them to find their hidden strength as well.
Some of our angels made us first time parents with empty arms, or maybe we’ve gone on to have other children, some are even lucky enough to be loved by older siblings. Our stories are all different but our angels have left us each with a gift, a deeper appreciation for the children that are left to help us heal. Whether they have traveled this journey with us, joined us later on, or have yet to come. These children know a special kind of love and appreciation they may not have otherwise and are especially blessed with an angel watching over them night and day.
I am grateful for my angel and the way her life has changed me. She made me a mother and taught me a love I had never known before. Although I still miss her every day, my heart has begun to heal and now when I think of her, there are more smiles than tears.