We made it through another Christmas. I have tried so hard to remember the true meaning this year. It was difficult but I do remember why we celebrate and I am eternally grateful for our Savior and His life. Christmas was good at our house this year. We spent some time with both Skeet's and my families and I really enjoyed watching my nephew open his gifts this year.
Christmas Eve we spent at my parents house with my brothers, Skeet's sisters and my sister and her hubby and my niece and nephew, and of course my parents. It was great to have everyone there and eat lots of good pizza. We took some pictures but I don't have them with me so I will share them later.
As I sat there watching Ayden and Jacie chase each other all over the house, the tears welled up and I couldn't hold them back. Someone was missing and it was so painfully obvious to me but it seemed like no one else noticed. I could almost picture my black haired little girl wobbling around and trying to keep up with the two of them. I wonder if she was watching and wishing she could be there too?
Then, Christmas morning, instead of watching my one year old tear into the wrapping paper (because I am sure that is all she would be interested in) Skeet and I drove out to the cemetery to visit her grave. We had to walk through probably six inches or more of snow to get to where she is and a lot of the cute Christmas decorations I had put out were completely buried. Her tree had been dug out and there were a few new additions from my parents and sister. I wanted to scream and cry out. I want to have her here so badly. But I held back because I didn't want Skeet to think that I had lost it. Instead I said a silent prayer and thanked my Savior for His life and death. Because of Him I will be with my daughter again. It is a bitter sweet thought but it gets me through each day.
Again I am sorry that I didn't get cards out to everyone this year. I hope you all had a very special Christmas and I wish you all the very best in 2009. Whatever you do tonight... do it safely! 2009 here we come!!!