Thursday, January 31, 2008

It's all a matter of choice

This morning I was checking in on Nate, Tricia and Gwenyth ( ) and something Nate said really hit me. If you are reading their blog you will know what I am talking about, if you are not... you should be. He mentioned that someone had said that Satan was the one that was responsible for all they had been through. I am so sad for the person that really believes that.

We are given trials to help us to grow, to build us up and bring us closer to The Lord. Satan will try to interfere; He will use our trials to try to draw us away from our Heavenly Father. If we let Him, if we give in to Satan, we might become angered at God for allowing something bad to happen to us. We should do the opposite. We should thank the Lord for allowing us the strength to cope with whatever it is we have been handed. We should draw nearer to Him to find peace and comfort. We should NOT give Satan the satisfaction of seeing our relationship with God become weak.

When we first found out that Avery may not live I wanted to be mad at someone. I wanted to be able to put the blame on someone and at times I even thought I was being punished. Having those thoughts in my mind made it even harder for me to face what was happening. It only took a few days for me to decide to put it all in the Lord's hands. It was still hard to accept that it all was happening but the more that I believed that there was a reason, the easier it became for me to lean on Him to get through it. Now, there is no doubt in my mind that Avery is a beautiful gift that was given to me to teach me and help me grow.

My dad said something at lunch the other day that really made sense. It made me cry, but it made sense. He asked me if I ever thought that maybe Avery volunteered to forfeit her time on this earth to help her parents. That maybe she was meant to bless our lives in a way that she wouldn't have been able to if she had stayed. We could have become bitter toward God; we could have cursed him and pulled away. Instead, that beautiful little face reminds me everyday that I am extremely blessed to have had her in my life. I thank the Lord every day for her life and the blessings that it has brought into ours. Some may think that trials are the work of Satan but I believe that it is all about how you choose to view those trials and whether or not you learn and grow from them. We should all thank our Heavenly Father daily for the trials that we have been given. They are what shape us and make us who we are.

No one is more of a testament to this than Nate, Tricia and sweet little Gwenyth Rose.


Tonya said...


So very true! I know I sometimes, get these moments of "I am being punished or God does not care" I do get angry, then I realize that this is a trial. Albeit, a trial I wished I didn't have to go through, but it is still a miracle. How we look at our lives and the impact it will have on us, is our choice. Though, sometimes, we just need to be reminded. Thank you for reminding me!

Love you!

Robyn said...

Hi Candi, I came across your blog a couple of months ago through a couple of others and I always check to see how you are doing. Anyway I wanted to tell you that this post really hit home for me. My sister-in-law has dealt with infertility for years and having gone though 3 failed IVF cycles she has decided that god is punishing her, and I think this couldn't be farther from the truth. I think god is great and is there for us through our trials if we just let him in. As someone who went through infertility as well, I believe that it has made me a stronger person, and it has made me love my child even more.
You were the best mother that Avery could have chosen, in that you realize what a gift she was. I really hope things will work out for you in the future, and you get to hold another beautiful baby in your arms.

Anonymous said...

I know that children are God's gift to us. He has put them here to show us the beauty of His grace and to remind us how important we are to one another. I never slowed down enough to realize this until I happened upon this network of parents who support each other through good times and bad. Each day as I witness this circle of families sharing, healing, leaning on each other, I truly believe that we are being guided by the hand of God. And he has chosen beautiful, precious babies to show us the way. Every life has a meaning. Every soul has a purpose. I am grateful to have been blessed by you and Avery and in my life.

I continue to pray that God will show you the path to heal your heart and help you find peace. It sounds like you are well on your way.

And I agree, Nate, Tricia and Gwyneth's story is truly inspiring. And it is just another detour on this beautiful new path God has laid out for me, which started with sweet, beautiful Bryan.

YaYa to Bryan

Jennifer said...

Ditto to all that has been said. I am still awed by the way we have all been brought together. All strangers but all united by our babies (in my case grandbaby). I just feel that God's hand is at work here somehow.

Clare Dungey said...

Well put sweetie!

Yesterday, our sermon at church was called 'Why does God allow Suffering?'. God doesn't cause our suffering which is the bit people focus on way too much, but he does offer us the choice in which we respond to it. We can use suffering for positive outcomes if we choose to. I would give everything I have in a heartbeat to have Theo back - but he is gone. However, thanks to his little life, people have heard about their Lord Jesus for the first time and we have had an opportunity to use our faith in a powerful way to reach people - that's amazing - that's the work of an awesome God!

Love you guys! xxx

How Life is Measured said...

I will never pretend to understand how God works, but sounds like your dad may have an inside track. I hope you are doing well!

Tonya said...


Stopping by to give you a GREAT BIG HUG!!!