More Ponderings... (I ponder a lot don't I?)

Well today my little man is 12 weeks old!  I seriously cannot believe it!  It has gone by so fast.  I still have moments when I am holding him or just looking at him where I wonder if it is all a dream.  I just can't believe that he is here and he is ours!  He seriously is so amazing.  Sure, he may not be sleeping through the night but I will take that any day over going back to not having him at all!  He really could be a lot worse too.  He gets up 1-3 times a night (depending on the night) and usually eats and goes right back to sleep.  Occasionally he will decide that he wants to play or that he doesn't want to sleep unless mom is holding him and that's okay. I am just so glad that he is here and he is healthy.  Most nights (unless I am extremely sleep deprived) I enjoy our little moments at night because he is extra cuddly when mom picks him up out of his crib.  Even if I do get a little frustrated that he won't go back to sleep, or won't let me put him down, I just have to look at his sweet little face and the frustration just melts away.  I am loving every minute of being his mom.  I can't believe how lucky I am to have such amazing children and such a loving and supportive husband.  Actually can I brag about my husband for a second?  Well I am gonna anyway...

Skeet has been nothing short of amazing the past 3 months.  He adores his little man, even more than I ever thought he would.  He has turned into the biggest softy when it comes to Sawyer.  I love to hear him talk to him and watch Sawyer just stare up at him, smile and talk back to his dad.  You can tell that Sawyer adores Skeet too!  Every other night they have a bath together (so much easier than trying to do the baby bathtub thing, which Sawyer has grown out of really fast).  Skeet doesn't normally do baths unless his back is acting up or he is sick but he so looks forward to his baths now.  He is such a huge help to me too.  When we have days off together (which doesn't happen much anymore since I am back to work and he works weekends) he will give Sawyer a bottle at his 4 or 5 a.m. feeding and take him for a few hours so I can sleep in.  He also will watch Sawyer on his days off and looks forward to this too!  Not only does it save us some money but it makes me feel so much better knowing that Sawyer is spending quality time with his daddy. It also gave Skeet an idea of what my days at home alone with the boy were like and I think he has a new respect for me as a mommy.  Also, when it comes time to get ready for work he really pitches in and helps out a ton! I don't think I would ever get to work on time if it weren't for him.  He will help me make a lunch the night before, he'll even help me wash bottles and pump stuff so that I am set for the next day.  In the mornings he will load everything in my car for me and watch the little guy while I get ready (if he's awake yet).  He'll get everything in the diaper bag, put together a breakfast for me and make sure the bottles are ready to go.  He is seriously such a huge help and I am so very grateful that I was able to marry such a great guy!  I couldn't ask for a better husband or father.  He even cooks dinner on those nights when I come home from work exhausted.  If it weren't for him there are some days when I don't think I would eat at all and I probably would have had a nervous breakdown by now!  He doesn't even complain when I kick him out of bed in the middle of the night so that I can put Sawyer in bed with me just so I can get some sleep! 

I can't say enough nice things about my Hubby, but I'll stop for now and move on.  Some of you may be wondering whether or not we are going to try for another baby.  Uh yea!  I refuse to go on any type of birth control because I believe it is evil and had a lot to do with my infertility problems in the first place.  No, we don't want to get pregnant right away (if we even can) but we are willing to take the chance.  Dr. S wants us to wait at least a year before getting pregnant (if we even can) again because of the high risk of preterm problems when you have babies too close together.  I am not sure if it will happen again for us.  I know that we are done with extensive fertility treatments (unless we come into some big time money, ha... ha...) so if we do get pregnant again it will be a huge miraculous blessing... just like Mr. Sawyer was.  We are just so grateful to have two beautiful children, even if one is watching over us from heaven.  We will consider ourselves blessed beyond what we deserve if it turns out that Avery and Sawyer are our only children.  So do I want another baby?  Yes! I would love another but I am not going to stress about it too much because I have an angel in heaven and a miracle in my arms. I would be selfish to expect any more than that!! 

As for Mr. Sawyer, I will do an update on him at his 3 month mark which is only a week away!  As of Monday though, he weighed in at 13 pounds 3 ounces.  He is getting so big!  The first three months of his life were amazing, although they flew by. I am excited to see what month 4 brings!