More fun..

Like I said in my last post, I got a new camera for Christmas.  I have been having a blast figuring it out and taking a crazy amount of pictures, mostly of Sawyer of course.  Here are some that I wanted to share.  I am still trying to get the manual setting down so some of them are dark but still too cute to not share.  Have I said how much I love this little guy?  Cause I do! He is the BEST!!

Oh and I forgot to add... Sawyer got a tooth for Christmas!!  The second is not wasting any time either!  My little boy is growing up and it breaks my heart but makes me happy and proud all at the same time!

Can you believe that face in the top right corner... I love it!! In the other pictures he's playing with his new tooth!

I was watching him play one day and he started flippin his toy completely around.  I almost cried I was so proud!

He still adores Callie!!  She is warming up to him too!

Grandpa is one of his favorite people.

This monkey was Sawyer's Christmas gift last year!  He's not sure what to think of it!

His new haircut is so cute but makes him look so grown up.  He didn't cry this time but mom almost did!

Sawyer's First Christmas

This year Christmas was magical!  Of course, at 8 months old Sawyer didn't know what was going on.  He loved the tree and always wanted to touch the "pine needles" (yes our tree is fake). He wanted to pat the gifts but had no interest in opening them.  He laughed when momma sang him Christmas carols but just the same as he does when she sings "Old McDonald" or "Isty Bitsy Spider".  The magic this year was for mom and dad.  On Christmas morning we set our greatest gift ever under the tree and for a moment we were speechless.  No words can describe the amazing feeling of joy that I had when I looked at my Christmas gift (who cares if he came 8 months early).  We feel so very blessed to have such beautiful children; one watching over us from Heaven and one that we cherish every moment with! 

Sawyer was spoiled, of course, even though he had no idea what was going on and loved the boxes more than the toys.  We actually have a few toys that we haven't taken out of the boxes yet because we don't want to overwhelm him!!  We are so grateful to our family and friends for thinking of him and spoiling him along with us! 

I got a new camera for Christmas and took a ton of pictures but wish I could have gotten more.  I also, didn't get one of the three of us together which makes me a little upset with myself!  It was our best Christmas yet and I know they are only going to get better as he gets older. 

Jacie, strking a pose

Grandpa's new hat

Getting loves from Grandma

Playing with tree ornaments! 

Click on this one to see it big.  We've discovered that he LOVES rootbeer!

Some of the pictures don't look that great, it's not the camera's fault... it's the user. I am still learning and trying to take photos on manual setting.  I definitely need a lens for indoor pictures!

It was an amazing Christmas and we were sad that it came and went so quickly!  We hope that everyone out there had a great Christmas as well and we wish you all a very Happy New Year! 

8 Months!!

I honestly can't believe it.  I keep looking at that title and thinking to myself "that can't be right".  8 months already?  That means in 4 short months my little miracle will be a year old!  It is really unbelievable how fast the time has gone since Sawyer joined our family.  My dad was saying just last night how crazy it is that last year at this time we were still so worried that Sawyer would come early.  I was on very restricted activity and thanking my Father In Heaven every day that Sawyer stayed put!  How were we to know that he would go to 39 weeks and have to practically be pulled out!  I wish I could have known to save myself a lot of stress!  I feel so very fortunate and have to say that this Christmas was the BEST EVER!  I am sure that in the years to come they will only get better but I got the best gift I could have ever imagined this year.  Who cares if the gift arrived 8 months before Christmas!  It was still the best gift under my tree Christmas morning!  I will do an entire post on Christmas with pictures and everything but today I am doing Sawyer's 8 month post... two days late. 

Our little guy is just amazing.  He is funny and smart and of course, adorable in every way.  Just when we think we can't love him any more, all we have to do is look at him and our hearts swell with more love and joy than we ever imagined possible.  He has the sweetest spirit, the most heart melting smile, the very best hugs, and guess what.... he's all mine!  I have been back to work 5 months now and every minute I spend away from Sawyer is still painful.  I hate the thought of someone else getting all the sweet hugs, kisses, smiles and laughs that I should be getting.  I guess if I have to leave him though, he couldn't be in better hands! He adores his babysitters and it's really nice to know that he is being taken good care of. 

He is close to 19 pounds and 30 inches long.

Sawyer has cut his first tooth and the second is right behind it.  Needless to say he's been a little cranky the last few days.  I feel bad for him when he hurts. He is usually such a happy guy and doesn't complain about much at all so when he does I know it's really bothering him.  We try to keep it under control with Acetometiphin and Teething Tablets, those at least help him sleep.  He is going to be cute no matter what but I am sure going to miss that adorable toothless grin! 

He isn't quite crawling yet but does the most adorable inch worm impression I have ever seen.  He lies on his tummy with his arms under him, sticks his cute bum in the air and pushes himself forward.  It gets him where he needs to go and that's all that matters, right?  He does rock back and forth on his hands and knees and has gone backwards a time or two so I think it is coming soon.  I am  not in a hurry for him to be mobile at all!  He can take his time as far as I am concerned!  It's nice to be able to put him down and know that if you walk out of the room for a few minutes, he's likely to stay put! 

Sawyer eats just about anything we give him with the exeption of his green veggies.    He has just started on meats like Turkey and Sweet Potatoes and Chicken Noodle.  We have also been giving him tastes of our food here and there.  I'd love to say that we stay away from sweets but in our family it's just not possible.  Someone is going to give him sweets whether I like it or not.  Daddy is the biggest culprit!  He loves, and I mean LOVES, rootbeer.  He has had little pieces of bread, jello, pumpkin pie, frosting, and of course popsicles.  We have also been giving him the little flavored  Puffs. 

He is sleeping through the night... for the most part (bed at 8, up at 4 or 5 to eat, up again at 6)  He also has 2 short naps throughout the day and one long one.

Sawyer is still wearing 9 month clothes but does fit in some of his 12 month stuff.  He is also still in size 3 diapers but we've been having a few leaks lately so we may start buying size 4 soon. 

He still loves bathtime and gets so excited when he hears the bath running! He loves to splash and play with his bath toys!

Sawyer is starting to learn how to wave bye bye. 

He thinks it is hilarious when mommy eats his fingers or gets his nose.  He loves to grab mommys nose too, he even tries to stick his fingers up there...  eww! 

He gives the best hugs and loves to cuddle.  I hope he doesn't grow out of it anytime soon because I don't know what I'll do when he does!  It is my favorite thing ever! 

I am sure that there is so much more I could add but this is already too long and I still need to add pictures!  We are so proud of our boy and love him more than words can say!!

Christmas with Jesus

I can't believe this is our fourth Christmas since Avery was born.  The fourth year that there won't be presents for her under the tree.  The fourth year her stocking will hang empty Christmas morning.  And the fourth year that I will look around while the family is gathered and think about who is  missing and how different our lives would be if our sweet little girl were there, running around with her cousins.
I remember that first Christmas.  I didn't want to celebrate, I wanted to crawl into a hole and hide until it was all over.  I didn't decorate and I had a bad attitude.  We should have been spending Christmas with our brand new baby, who if she had come on her due date, would have only been 3 weeks old.  Then I got this poem from a group of ladies who had all lost children.  It reminded me that my sweet little girl was being taken good care of and most importantly, it reminded me of the reason for the season, our Savior, Jesus Christ and that His life has made it possible for me to see my daughter again.  That reminder didn't make the incredible pain I was feeling go away but it did give me a little peace that holiday season.  Every year since I have taken out that sheet of paper and put it up on my fridge so whenever I start missing my little girl I can read it again and remember why we celebrate Christmas and how lucky I am that I have a perfect angel waiting for me in Heaven. 
A few years back a very special friend of mine, who is the mommy of a beautiful angel too, had the idea that we should do trees for our angels.  She bought the trees and together we made beautiful feather ornaments.  This year we put that tree up in Sawyer's room.  He loves it!  It is hard to get him to focus on anything else when we are near the tree because he just wants to touch it and stare at it.  I am so glad we have that tree and that Sawyer is able to enjoy it this year. 
Another thing I finally did this year (I have been meaning to do it for the last 3 years) is I participated in an angel tree.  I have been wanting to buy a gift for a girl who is the same age as Avery would be every year.  This year they had an angel tree at State Bank, where my mom works, so I went out and bought a gift and some clothes for a 4 year old and my mom took them in for me.  I hope that some little girl in this city has a better Christmas because of that gift. 

I still think about Avery every day.  When I am playing with her little brother I think of her and wonder who she would look like and if she'd like dancing, singing and dolls like I did at that age.  I still feel cheated.  I feel such joy when I see Sawyer smile, hear his laugh, or pretty much when I just look at him and I feel like I should be experiencing all of it for the second time, not the first.  I feel so lucky to have Sawyer but I also feel like I have missed out on so much with my little girl.  I really do hope that she is happy and watching over us.  Most of all, I hope she knows how much I love her. 

Spending Christmas with Jesus Christ This Year

I see the countless Christmas trees
Around the world below,
With tiny lights like heaven's stars
Reflecting in the snow.

The sight is so spectacular
Please wipe away that tear
For I'm spending Christmas
With Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs
That people hold so dear
But earthly music can't compare
With the Christmas choir up here.

I have no words to tell you
The joy their voices bring
For it's beyond description
To hear the angels sing.

I know how much you miss me,
Trust God and have no fear
For I'm spending Christmas
With Jesus Christ this year.

I can't tell you of the splendor
Or the peace here in this place.
Can you imagine Christmas
With our Savior, face to face?

May God uplift your spirit
As I tell Him of your love
Then pray for one another
As you lift your eyes above.

So let your hearts be joyful
And let your spirits sing
For I'm spending Christmas in Heaven
And I'm walking with the king!

Author: Wanda Bencke. (1998)

Merry Christmas Baby Girl.  I love you and miss you so much!