Wednesday, June 2, 2010

I HATE Mean and Ignorant People!!!

So I found this comment when I logged on to my blog this morning.  At first I was mad and hurt but then I just felt sorry for this person.  How cruel and stupid does a person have to be to go around looking for blogs to leave incredibly rude and opinionated comments on.  This person (I only know as Beee, too much of a coward to leave their name) really just seems pathetic and sad.  How closed minded can one person be? 

"OK, I have read enough and wanted to say that not only do you seem so incredibly fake, but delusional as well. You think that baby was a gift to you? Are you nuts? Whether you care to face it or not, that baby suffered prenatally because of YOUR selfishness to force the issue of bearing a child. You messed with Mother Nature and needlessly bore a child whose fate was predetermined through physiological and medical complications. I just don't get people like you who know in advance that you are unlikely candidates to become natural parents and then attempt to have fertility doctors wave a magic wand. Get real. There is nothing heavenly about this, but undoubtedly you will continue to spread your BS about a blessing from god. You should have pursued adoption INSTEAD...from the beginning.

I know you won't post this, but at least you'll read it, sickos!!"

All I can say is that I KNOW Avery was a gift and her condition had NOTHING to do with how she was conceived.  Infertility is a disease and those of us that suffer from it have every right to use modern medicine to try to correct it.  Just like those who are born with or develop other diseases have a right to use whatever means necessary to correct it.  No, my condition is not life threatening and I am not comparing it to that in any way.  As a woman I believe I have  a right to try to carry a child of my own.  Just like the heroine addict who gets knocked up every year or so and brings children into this world who are negatively affected by her drug use.  I don't want to get too much into this... I just thought that my friends out there would get a kick out of this comment.  I do however want to state again, that I am 100% for adoption and if it weren't so incredibly expensive and such an emotionally, mentally and financially draining process (even more so than IVF in my opinion), I would have done that right away.  It makes me sad to think that there are so many children out there in need of homes and the process and the cost keep loving, deserving people from helping them. I hope I do get the opportunity to adopt someday.

And to Beee... whoever you are... I didn't ask you to visit my blog.  Nor did I ask you to read my blog OR agree with my decisions.  Keep your opinions to yourself.  Like we have all heard time and time again "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all".  I stand by my decision to do IVF and I know my daughter will be mine forever...that is all that matters!

30 comments:

Jessica said...

wow some people are so clueless. I am so sorry you had to see that comment. Karma is a b*&%h. Beee will get his/hers for being so mean.

Jamie said...

I usually remain silent while reading mostly because you bring me to tears. I pray constantly for you and Skeet to have a baby though I do not know you. This time I cannot keep quiet, I am so sorry for the blogger trolls that seem to attack innocent people. They are mean and thought loss. Do not let one troll bring you down. Avery was a gift and a very precious little girl.
Jessica is right, Karma is a you know what!

Brandi, Dan, L and B said...

I don't know you either but I love reading your blog. My heart aches for you. I know what your going through with fertility treatments. After suffering through them myself I have two beautiful healthy children. I can't imagine what you went through with Avery. Infertility is the hardest thing I have ever gone through. This lady obviously doesn't know what it is like or she wouldn't be saying that. She also obviously doesn't know how expensive and hard it is to adopt. 1 percent of un wed mothers give their children up for adoption. There just is not enough children out there for everyone who wants one. Hang in there.

The Buhler's said...

Holy crap! I can't believe that BEEE is such a B@&*%! DO NOT let this insensitive person get to you for even one minute. Obviously this person is completely and utterly oblivious to inferitility. Avery was a blessing and IVF is a blessing to people who are unable to conceive naturally. Never stop believing in your choices my dear friend. All my love and support!

Lindsay Logic said...

The "B" stands for Bitch, apparently. :)

Wow.

Unbelievable.

April said...

Like you said, I just feel sorry for such a mean person. It must be exhausting to be so opinionated and cruel in life.

Don't let someone like this bring you down. Your trials are yours and you have been an inspiration to others by sharing.

Good luck with your next round! Dont let this chick stress you out and hinder your chances! You are doing what is right.

Rachel Doyle said...

I don't know you either - but I read from time to time. I recently was trolled and it made me so mad! I wish you the best of luck.

Rachel

Lora said...

Candi, you are one amazing woman. I follow your blog and don't often comment. But OMG I am so impressed with your strength, courage, love and grace. You are blessed and we are blessed to share in your journey.

shannon said...

Beee is yet another example of how unfair IF is. She's an obvious example someone who shouldn't breed and spread her poison to innocent children, yet I'm sure she's had no trouble conceiving at all. I wonder what it must be like to be her and so far superior to everyone else?? I also feel so sorry for her, it must be hard to relate when you have been imparted with such divine wisdom.GAG!!

Candi- You should never have to defend the fact that your daughter was blessing. This person is obviously the delusional one. I wish you and your husband all the best. You've been through a lot and deserve nothing more than to hold a happy, healthy baby in your arms- by any means you feel necessary!

Elisha Jones said...

I just don't even know what to say. That poor person must just be so miserable inside. I am so sorry you had to read something like that. You know that all of us at HALO love you and are praying for you.

Love
Lish

Jennifer said...

Wow. That's about all I've got. Wow. She must be a truly miserable, unhappy person. Don't let it get you down Candi. She's just an ignorant person who obviously doesn't have the gift of faith. Those of us who consider Avery a gift far outnumber this truly unpleasant soul.

The Reluctant Blogger said...

Well said Candi...for someone who has not had to face infertility they really have no idea what it feels like. You are such a strong person I know this will not be in for thoughts for long...keep being the strong great person you are!

Leslie said...

Although I agree with all the other comments about not letting her comment get you down, I have to say, somethings that ignorant people say just make me want to hit something :)

Love you tons

Never forgetting Gregory said...

Oh my gosh. I can't believe how well you are handling that comment. What a disgusting and rude individual. I'm sorry those very false words were written about your sweet child who IS a gift. Yuck. I stopped blogging because of anonymous comments and have since decided to block out their insane banter. I'm glad you are doing the same and realizing that this idiot is the one in who is in the wrong. Hugs.

Andy and Clare said...

I think April is right, it must be exhausting to be so cruel. I actually feel sorry for someone who would deliberately seek out a stranger to hurt in this way.

You have no need to justify yourself. These comments are ignorant and in no way relate to what we all know of you and Avery.

There is no one on this earth who could ruin the love and bond I have with Theo - he is mine and I am proud of him. I know you feel the same for Avery so don't give this person another thought.

It's funny really because I struggle to find time to read all the blogs belonging to my friends and yet this person not only has time to read complete stranger's blogs but also has time to comment on them - wow, what a sad, lonely and bitter life! This person needs our prayers and sympathy!

Inklings said...

I agree with Lindsay Logic and every one else - Beee was pretty hateful and unkind. Don't listen to that garbage and hang in there! Who goes around attacking people, anyway? Pretty pathetic.

jmatteso said...

Then why aren't all IVF babies in heaven, Bee? Clare is right, she needs our sympathy and prayers, although my instinct is more in the realm of giving her a piece of my mind...

Colleen said...

I am also pretty sure that Beee doen't have a relationship with God. Avery was and still is a blessing. I haven't been trolled yet, but I know the day is coming. Keep writing. I love your blog.

Through My Eyes said...

Honestly, you shouldnt have even given this person the TIME OF DAY in your blog...they obviously do not have a heart or any emotional connection to God or children...dust it off...dust IT OFF! You WILL have that miracle baby in your arms sometime soon!!

Jenell said...

Candi, that person is clearly sick and delusional and I'm sorry that they invaded your blog and left that ridiculous comment. I'm glad you're not taking it personally. Avery IS a gift from God and no one can take that away from you.

Liz said...

Well, even though people are entitled to have their own opinions, I think people like Bee should KEEP THEM TO THEMSELVES!!! It's really insane what some people choose to believe. I hope you realize that this one person's uneducated opinion is not shared by the rest of your blog readers.

"People cannot make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

Please keep posting on your blog and treat Bee's comment like water off a duck's back!!!

Mari Burgess said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Marylin said...

Candi you don't know me but we have a few connections! Mari is a great friend of mine and I was blessed to be in the studio when she finished recording 'Avery' and my other good friend Liz Prisbrey is married to a cousin of yours I believe. Anyway I read your blog on occasion and today Mari posted about this unkind and cruel person and their comment. I just want you to know that there are so many out there that support and admire your strength and courage to work so hard to have children.

Avery is your little angel and that women who left such a disgusting example of ignorance should be ashamed of herself for spewing her venom onto some one who did not ask for her thoughts or opinion.

Keep your chin up and know that you are on the right path! All my love

Mari Burgess said...

WHERE DO I START?!?!?!?! I appreciate and have respect for all those who curbed their tongue...as a curtousy, I am going to warn you right now that I am not going to do the same.

I do want to know Beee...do you feel better? Does it make you feel at peace to attack someone you've never met, someone who has endured GRACEFULLY the trials that have landed in her lap? Would you attack and kick a mother for being "cruel" to her sweet baby after he or she died due to complications beyond the mother's or doctor's control? Like the cord wrapping around his or her neck or what have you? Because you are basically doing the EXACT same thing. You are attacking a beautiful woman who has suffered a loss that was out of her control. Before you cowardly leave a comment anonymously check your facts. I'm not going to waste my time going there, you can read the previous blog entries to find out that Avery's conditions had nothing to do with Candi. How can you call yourself a human being after attacking someone who has grieved the loss and has struggled with infertility? You're probably one of those people who can get pregnant by washing their underwear in the same load, and apparently you are so ignorant that you have failed to try and understand how it must feel to ache to hold a baby of your own. Yes I am aware that there is such things as adoption, but apparently you know the MAGICAL agencies that give you a baby after you send off for one. I can tell you that begging for a baby is the most heartbreaking feeling in the world and to have that on top of losing your sweet baby is unthinkable. The only thing worse would be to have such an UGLY person such as yourself attack her while she's down. I wish I had a word stronger than an ugly or disgusting...but I don't, I would however kindly suggest next time leaving your name so that I have something to call people like you. Considering you have found your calling however noble it may be, searching around for people to hurt and attack out of your own stupidty and ignorance. You really outta tattoo a disclaimer on your forehead. But then again, that would be the curteous, mature and lady like thing to do and I don't think you know the definition of any of those words. Disgusting, thoroughly disgusting.

PS before you get your panties in a twist and ask yourself what right I have to attack you that way, I was thinking the exact same thing...except Candi didn't ask for it. Next time think twice before you insult and hurt without getting the facts straight, it just makes you look undeducated and ignorant. Or at least, next time physically kick her in the stomach. I'm sure it would hurt a lot less.

Patty Sampson said...

OMG, that Bee woman is a piece of work! I was shocked at her rude and judgmental attitude. I am so grateful that you took the time to answer her back in such a loving and positive way. You are my example, and I keep praying for you to get the chance every woman deserves- to be a mother. I hate IF, and I hope you don't have to fight this battle much longer.

kemra said...

Totally agree with Lindsay Logic! People are stupid. Hang in there!

Rae said...

WOW! What an asshole! Sorry you got that awful comment Candi. You didn't deserve that and I hope you don't listen to a word they said.

The Reluctant Blogger said...

Hey...been thinking about you...hope you are doing ok.

Lightning Strikes said...

Candi that comment Beee left Shocks me! I cannot believe that someone could be so hateful and cruel! Don't listen to Him/Her...his/her life must suck pretty bad to go and attack something that they have NO IDEA about! We love you! Hang in there!

Giroux said...

Hello Candi,
I dont know you either but I do read your blog. Its a shame that some people are so tactless and sour.
Your beautiful daughter was part of God's plan for your life and he knew she would come to be, even before you were born! Don't let these people get you down! There are a lot of people supporting you and yours in prayer.

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

Blessings,
Michelle