Thursday, April 2, 2009

It's been 2 years

2 years ago today I received a phone call from a man that I have come to love and respect, Dr. Sanders. He had called to tell me, in a round about way, that I was finally pregnant! I look back on that day now and it seems like it was a hundred years ago. It's been 2 years and we still have no baby to hold but when you are a childless mother .... 2 years seems like an eternity. The emotions I felt on that day, I will never forget. Excitement, happiness, anxiousness... it was all there but mostly, I just couldn't believe it. I was finally going to have what I had prayed for-for so long . At that moment I had no idea, and would have never believed, what was to come. As I was calling Skeet to tell him the good news, never once did I think that 2 years down the road I would still be missing my little girl who we held only for a moment before we had to say goodbye.
I look back now and miss those days of ignorance. I miss being able to believe that something like losing a child would never happen to me. However, at the same time I am grateful for what I have learned and for how I have grown over the last 2 years. I still miss my baby girl as much as I did the day we said goodbye but I am such a stronger person because of it all.
Hopefully... just two months from now I will be getting a similar phone call from one of my doctors, giving me the same good news that I received 2 years ago today. I know that this time I will worry constantly that the outcome may be the same but I will also be so happy that I have been given another chance to be a mother on this earth.


Natalie.Rob.Branson said...

My prayer is that you'll feel that excitement and anticipation once again very soon. You are so right...two years does seem like an eternity when you have empty arms waiting to be filled. All my love and prayers are with you during this time

Never forgetting Gregory said...

I very much hope that you get to experience the excitement of that first phone call soon. I think about you often. Hugs.

The Ransom Family said...

I just wanted to let you know that I stumbled upon your blog through various other blogs awhile ago. I am a frequent visitor and your story has touched my heart. Although I only know you through your blog, I am hoping and praying that all your dreams come true!