Friday, February 20, 2009

Late Valentine

Well Skeet has been out of town for 18 days now. He has been in Huntsville, TX helping with their prescribed burns and clearing the forest a little bit. He usually makes a trip or two to Texas every spring before fire season starts, and every spring I miss him even more. Luckily this time I have had plenty of school and painting to keep me busy so that the time went by pretty quickly. So tomorrow night when he gets home I will have a late Valentine's dinner waiting for him and some very much needed (on both parts) hugs and kisses.
Here are some pictures of what I have done while he has been gone.
I am almost done painting the entertainment center, I only have the bottom sections to do and I hope to finish them tomorrow morning. And yes, that TV you see is our NEW TV. The one we had up there when he left was ancient (my parents have had it for probably 15 years) and there was a good deal at the Boulevard so I went and got us a new one. It is small but when we can afford a bigger one then we will move this one into our bedroom.



I finally finished my shelf and my dad helped to me to get it on the wall. I think I put it too high and so I haven't hung the pictures yet so they are just sitting on the shelf. Skeet doesn't want me to lower it because I would have to drill more holes in the wall, but you won't be able to see the holes so I am still working on getting his permission.





I finally decided to change my hair. I am growing it out so that I can donate it to Locks of Love and because of that I couldn't do much to it, so I decided to cut bangs. (Thanks Kristie!) It isn't a huge change but it is a little different than what I have had for the past 3 years! I am still trying to get used to them. Here is a before picture to compare. ( I took these with my phone to send to Skeet. He insists on at least one picture a day)

I am thinking I look much better without bangs so I will be growing them back out. Lucky for me my hair grows fast!

Even though the 19 days went by fast it feels like it's been months since I have seen him. A few things I have enjoyed are having the TV to myself and not having to watch one Simpsons episode. I have also enjoyed hogging the bed and being able to fall asleep with no TV in the background. I haven't had to feel guilty about the time I spend on homework and my house has stayed pretty clean! There hasn't been hardly any laundry to do and I don't have anyone to fight for the laptop.

None of that, however, is worth what I have missed. I have missed seeing his smiling, welcoming face when I come home from class and hearing him tell Callie that Mom's home. I have missed his big bear hugs that make me feel so safe and loved. I miss the way he smells right out of the shower and the way he likes to walk around the house in his boxers! I miss how his warm feet always welcome my ice cold piggies (toes, piggies is his term.. I love it) at night when we get into bed. I miss being able to snuggle up to his warm body when I get cold and his sweet goodnight kisses. I miss that he warms up my car in the morning even if it's just to get all the frost off of it so it's ready to go when I am running late (which is every day). I miss all the little things that I take for granted when he is around.

I truly believe that his job and his absences because of it have made our marriage so much stronger. We learn to appreciate each other so much more because of the time that we have to spend apart. I am so thankful for him and his willingness to work so hard so that we can have all that we need. We may not have it all, but we have each other, and that is enough.
On another note, it is usually around this time of year that I am preparing to buy tickets to Rascal Flatts' Vegas show... unfortunately they have yet to post a Vegas date. I am getting a little antsy and anxious. I even had a dream about a RF concert last night. I am so ready to see them again! They put on a great show. Charise will be coming to visit at the end of March so now I am hoping that they will end up coming to Vegas while she is here. She shares my obsession (almost as much) and we have gone to the concert "together" for the past couple of years.
Before I end this novel, I just wanted to share an experience I had last night while I was sitting on the couch watching Grey's. I was cuddled up under a blanket trying to get warm and had my arms positioned as I would if I had a huge pregnant belly between them. Now I didn't realize that they were in this position until I had a flashback of sitting in that exact position while pregnant with Avery, and singing "You Are My Sunshine" to her. And for a short moment last night I could almost feel her inside me again. I felt, for that split second, like I was pregnant and it was the strangest thing. When I think back to my pregnancy I can't really remember what it was like to have the big swollen stomach. It's almost like my brain blocks any memory of that feeling. I remember being pregnant but I can't picture it or remember how it felt, and I have wanted to so badly. So this little flashback I had last night was very welcomed but it made me cry. It only added to the intense desire I have to be pregnant again. It is such an amazing experience to find out that you are expecting and immediately have a love for the baby growing inside of you. Even if you don't know the gender or what they will look like, you love him/her and it only grows with each passing day. Then, once you start to show that love intensifies and honestly, only someone who has been there would know what I am talking about. I want to feel that again, more than anything else in this world. I can only pray that the Lord has planned that for me in the future.

12 comments:

Courtney and Jason said...

Hello there,

I came through your site from another angel mommy. I myself am a mother to not one but two angels. I became pregnant via IVF as well and we just recently lost our twin boys on 1.31.09 due to me having severe HELLP syndrome. I am looking to connect with other parents who have lost children. I hope that you and I could talk further in the future.

Your daughter is beautiful. I have always loved the name Avery.

Please feel free to stop by anytime.

*hugs*

TREVOR AND MINDY SAVAGE said...

Candi, Yes I am a blog stocker. Sorry! Love the pictures of your house. I miss it. I must agree with you, absence makes the heart grow fonder! With Trev working out of town I truly think it makes our marriage stronger. We are so blessed to have husbands that work hard to provide for us, even if it means being away from home. Please know that I think of you guys often and hope and pray that some day you will have little feet pitter pattering around that cute house you have.

Call Family said...

Love the pictures of your house, and I think the bangs look nice, like you said, it's always nice for a change :) You are a beautiful girl! I bet your hubby can't wait to see you...your belated Valentines will be so fun!
I too want to be pregnant so bad...it's crazy how bad I want it! I want to be uncomfortable and sick, tired and huge, I want to feel those lively kicks and the little nudges...I'll continue to pray that both of us...hopefully soon...can have that once again. Sending lots of love your way

The Schexnayders said...

Hey Candi! Thanks for posting the pics... Ive been wanting to see what your house looks like with the new paint. I LOVE IT!! It really looks great.

Im glad Skeet will be home today. Sometimes being apart is good for us because we do remember why we love them. Im sure you guys will have a great belated V day.

You know... I cant remember what it was like to be pregant either. So strange. I know you will be blessed to hold a baby that is your own again. Your too good of a mommy not too.

See you in March (Rascal Flatts Rocks!)

The Neilsons said...

We've had the same debate about nail holes in the wall - it cracks me up that we're not the only ones to have that conversation.
I'm still praying for May!

Liz - Jess said...

Wow, 19 days? I don't know how you do it. I am dying here! Jess has been working long crazy hours at work. I end up getting to see him for an hour at night if I am lucky and I am going insane! You are a trooper. :-)

I like you both with bangs and without! It takes time to get used to it, but you look beautiful!

Amy Jo said...

I LOVE the bangs! I say keep them, however you are super cute either way! Cool entertainment center as well. And, May will be here before you know it!

kt_kc said...

Candi,
Don't know if you remember me when we were neighbors. Used to be Katie Liebhardt. Your hair is very cute. I love your blog. I just spend the past hour reading it....as Mindy put it I'm a blog stalker as well! Avery is so beautiful too, what an angel. Thanks for sharing your story.
Katie Rossman

NEILANDSHALON said...

YOU ARE SUCH AN AWESOME WIFE!! SKEET IS SO LUCKY TO HAVE YOU!! YOUR HOUSE LOOKS AMAZING!! I ABSOLUTELY LOVE YOUR HAIR AND BANGS-- SO BEAUTIFUL!! I CANNOT BELIEVE IT IS THAT LONG-- YOU ARE ALWAYS THINKING OF OTHERS!! YOU ARE SUCH A SPECIAL PERSON!! LOVE YOUR GUTS!!

Amy Jo said...

BTW- I love your countdown for the FET....I'm so excited for you!

Lane said...

Sorry, I'm real behind. I.LOVE.THE.BANGS. It adds spunk! :)

DeFrump Me said...

I have been following your blog forever!! I am so hopeful for your FET!!! Fingers crossed and prayers sent!