Little Boy!

We had our anatomy scan today. We confirmed that baby #3 is a boy and he looks very healthy and big!!  I can tell already that he isn't going to look exactly like Sawyer.  His features are much different.  Especially his nose and mouth but he is incredibly cute and I am excited to meet him in roughly 21 weeks! 

I hope Sawyer likes him!

16 weeks

I am 16 weeks today. This pregnancy is really flying by but some days seems to be taking forever!  Weird, I know.  I can't make up my mind.  The distraction of my adorable little man really helps though.  He is so funny these days and is picking up on things so quickly.  I am going to have to do a post just about him and his antics in the next couple of days because there is a lot to tell!  Most days I still can't believe I am pregnant.  You'd think that 16 weeks into it, it would have sunk in by now but it really hasn't.  Maybe because I don't have time to think about it much but when I do think about it-it seems so unreal.  The thought of having another baby in the house in just 5-6 months, well that just seems impossible. Maybe it's because I am still having a hard time believing that Sawyer is really mine.  I guess one day it will hit me.. maybe...

As for our new little nugget here is our monthly update...

How far along:16 weeks.

How my baby is growing: Get ready for a growth spurt. In the next few weeks, your baby will double his weight and add inches to his length. Right now, he's about the size of an avocado: 4 1/2 inches long (head to rump) and 3 1/2 ounces. His legs are much more developed, his head is more erect than it has been, and his eyes have moved closer to the front of his head. His ears are close to their final position, too. The patterning of his scalp has begun, though his locks aren't recognizable yet. He's even started growing toenails. And there's a lot happening inside as well. For example, his heart is now pumping about 25 quarts of blood each day, and this amount will continue to increase as your baby continues to develop.

Weight gain: 10 pounds (I am officially at the weight I was at when I got pregnant with Sawyer, it's coming on way too fast!).


Maternity clothes: I am fitting in more and more of them each day.  I don't really have any for summer so I need to figure something out soon!

Gender: Probably a boy, but I am not convinced.

Movement: I am feeling the occasional flutter, but not enough to calm my nerves.  Whenever I start to freak out about it I just play with Sawyer, it really helps me not think about how crazy I can get!

Sleep: Can't get enough.  Sawyer has been sleeping better but I still feel tired ALL THE TIME!!


Symptoms: The morning sickness is pretty much gone.  Now I am dealing with heartburn and some other random stomach issues.  My tailbone is also giving me problems.  It's not constant though so I am not sure what is going on there.  Mostly I am just tired!

Cravings: I really don't have any cravings this time around.  I do enjoy the occasional fruity/slushy drink and I am trying to get as much chocolate as I can because I may have to give it up again when the baby comes, but other than that, no major cravings.  I still HATE cooked carrots, broccoli and cauliflower, I can't chew sugarless gum for more than a few minutes at a time and beef hasn't been my friend this pregnancy.

Best moment lately:Seeing our little nugget last week and seeing how long "his" legs are!!  I am a  little more confident now that this nugget probably doesn't have OI type II. 

What I am looking forward to: Our anatomy ultrasound in a couple of weeks.  To confirm whether or not this nugget is in fact a boy, and to confirm that "he" is healthy and growing like he should be.

It's not official but...

Looks like I might be outnumbered in our house!  The little nugget didn't want to cooperate so it was not easy for the Dr. to see but Dr. S thinks we are having another sweet little boy (I hope he's sweet).  Sawyer is going to have a life long buddy.  A lot people (including Dr. S) have been asking me if I am disappointed that I am not getting my girl and I have to remind them that I have my girl, she's just waiting for me in Heaven.  Plus, I have 3 years to talk Skeet into having number 4.  I am not holding my breath but I am scared that after this new one gets a little older I'll be wishing we could have just one more.  So I asked Skeet to not do anything permanent and he agreed if I would go on the pill.  I hate birth control but I had to say yes.  He refuses to have kids after he's 40 though so I only have 3 years!! 
I am still not convinced 100% that this little nugget is a boy though, we have another ultrasound scheduled for the end of April so I won't make any plans until it is confirmed. 
Now for the best news...  I begged Dr. S to take a measurement of the baby's leg bone.  It is measuring a week ahead!!  That is wonderful news for me because Avery's legs measured weeks behind.  The relief I felt when I saw that measurement... well it's indescribable!  I finally feel like I can be happy and excited about having another baby.  The fear of getting attached and then getting bad news again was just too much for me before but now that I know things look okay so far, I feel a huge weight has been lifted.  I am ready to clean out the extra bedroom and start pulling stuff out of storage but I am going to hold off because it's still pretty early and that would leave me nothing to do when nesting hits!! 
So for now, little boy... I'll let you all know if it changes!

11 Months

Yep, you read it right!  My sweet, adorable little boy is 11 months old today.  I cannot believe it.  I think I say it every month but the time has totally flown by!!  The fact that we will be celebrating his first birthday in just one month really freaks me out!  It was a year ago that I was just about thinking "any time now buddy".  I think I waited until he only had 3 weeks left but still... it couldn't have been a year ago.  It seems like it was only a couple of months ago!!  I am so afraid that having 2 will make the time pass even faster.  That really scares me! 

We didn't think it was possible but we love Sawyer more today than we did yesterday!  He gets us over and over again with every smile and belly laugh.  He has turned into quite the comedian and is always making us laugh and smile too!  We will admit that we spoil the crap out of the kid but if you knew him you wouldn't be able to resist him either.  He is the best baby!  The sweetest, cuddliest little boy and he pulls the cutest, funniest faces.  Skeet and I are both scared to see what this next baby will be like because we have had it oh-so-easy with Sawyer.  We cannot be lucky enough to get a perfect baby twice in a row!  Now, he doesn't sleep through the night every night and of course he throws a tantrum or two occasionally but seriously, overall he is the best baby and people who have been around him would have to agree. 

Sawyer is completely weaned.  It was both easy and hard.  He only missed it for like a day and then he was over it.  It was harder on me.  Although it's been nice to have a break.  His teeth were starting to get too involved in the sucking process and it was starting to get painful.  Plus, I know I will be starting all over again in about 5 months so the break is nice. 
He is eating solids like a champ and tries new stuff every day.  He loves to feed himself but sometimes it can take a very long time for him to finish a meal because he has discovered that he likes to play with his food in between bites.  Sometimes Skeet and I get a little impatient and have to feed him to get him to finish his food.  We love watching him play with his food though.  He takes so much joy in it so we don't discourage it.  Maybe we should but we love watching him learn and have fun.  He has started dropping pieces of food on the floor and thinks it is hilarious when Callie rushes over to clean it up.  It's nice to have an instant vacuum cleaner around the house!

Sawyer is 21 pounds and around 31 or 32 inches (he's also very wiggly which makes it hard to measure him)  He is still in 12 month clothes but some he is starting to get too tall for.  He's also starting to grow into his size 4 diapers. 

Skeet and I both have thick hair that grows crazy fast and Sawyer has inherited that from us.  He needs a haircut every 2-3 weeks but to save money I try to make it 4-5 weeks between cuts.  I need to learn to do it myself but like I said, the kid is wiggly!! 

He is all over the place now.  He can crawl pretty dang fast and you have to watch him closely and keep the floors extremely clean because he will find the only thing on the floor that will fit in his mouth and that's the first place it goes!  Especially if you forget to put Callie's food up.  He somehow knows and will head straight for the dog dish.
He pulls himself up on everything and is getting more and more daring about letting go.  He won't stand long but I am not worried, I am not in a hurry for him to walk - AT ALL! We still let him play in his walker a lot though and he loves to chase us and Callie all over the house.  We play hide and seek with him and we love to hear him squeal with delight we we jump out and say "BOO!" . 

Sawyer is talking up a storm these days.  He talks so matter of fact too, like we should know exactly what he is saying and answer him at the appropriate times.  Every once and a while we swear he says something coherent but then we can never get him to repeat it.  We both agree that his first word (other than mamma and dadda, which he says a lot these days) will be either Callie or doggie.  He adores her and she tolerates him very well.  I think she is even becoming very protective of him.

He also has the moves, this little man loves to dance!!  He'll dance to anything too.  His toys that play music, the any music playing on TV shows, anything coming out of mom's iPod, mom singing to him and even just the music in his head.

He still loves bath time and has started to stick his face in the water.  The other night he tried to drink it and ended up in a coughing fit but it's fun to see him try new things without us showing him first.

Sawyer has no fear.  He will dive head first off of anything so we have to have a hand on him any time he's on the bed, couch or even in our arms.   This makes me a little crazy because his head is too cute and I'd hate for him to break it, or even bruise it for that matter. 

He now has 6 teeth and I swear there are 4 more that can't decide whether or not they want to come in. 

I am in awe of how big and smart he is getting.  He amazes us every day and every day we are more and more grateful that he is part of our family.  We just can't get enough of him!

Here are some cute pictures of our cute boy... enjoy!

This dinosaur is meant for balls but he thinks every toy he owns needs to get bounced around in it.

First grass experience, not sure what to think.

Crawls through everything instead of going around

Loves the laptop already, we're in trouble.

This was so cute, he grabbed his puppy off the couch as he cruised by and took him on a ride.

Dad getting him started on the Dew already... I tried to stop it.

Cheese!!

Watching Callie

Getting into Callie's food.

Love this smile!!!

An Update

I guess I should post a little update since it's coming on a month since my last post.  This pregnancy is still going smoothly for the most part.  I have a hard time posting about it because I still feel like if some of my friends out there are still reading (which I doubt anyone really is anymore), well I don't want to be rubbing this pregnancy in any one's face.  However, because I have been printing these posts out in book form, and because my children might one day want to read them.  I was this child to have just as much as Sawyer has to read about.  Well almost as much.  Instead of the weekly posts I might do every 2 weeks or every month.  But I'll try to get all of the important stuff in there, including the belly shots. 

I am now 13 weeks along.  One more week left until my 2nd trimester!! This pregnancy is really flying by.  It's easier this time around because I have Sawyer to distract me, so I don't stress quite as much as I did when I was carrying him.  When I do let myself think about it, it's like instant stress and worry.  But it's not just that... I am driving myself crazy with wondering whether this baby is a boy or a girl.  I just want to know what to plan for!  I also want to know if I can give all of my boy stuff to my sister-in-law or if I need to hold on to it.  I pray every night that this baby is healthy.  I don't care what anyone says, after you have had a loss, and then a healthy baby, the worry doesn't go away.  It's still there, it's just as bad with the 3rd child as it was with the 2nd.  I know that we were able to have a healthy, living child and that is a huge relief but that doesn't guarantee that our next will be the same.  I can hardly wait until that ultrasound when we can look at this baby's arms and legs and see that they are measuring right on.  That his/her ribcage is perfect and his/her lungs are able to develop properly.  It's just so scary not knowing!! And again, just like with Sawyer, I find myself having a hard time planning for this baby.  Once I know that there is a good chance he/she will be okay, then I will let myself get into planning mode.  Until then I will try to keep myself distracted or drive myself nuts wondering.

I really do want to enjoy this pregnancy as much as I possibly can.  According to Skeet, this is our last baby so I want to remember everything.  Even how awful the morning sickness has been.  I don't really want to stop, especially now that we know we can get pregnant and that we have such adorable babies... it seems a shame to put an end to that, but Skeet and I have argued our entire married life about this issue.  He wanted 2 kids, I wanted 3.  Looks like I win so I shouldn't complain!! 

Here is my update...

How far along:13 weeks.

How my baby is growing: Fingerprints have formed on your baby's tiny fingertips, her veins and organs are clearly visible through her still-thin skin, and her body is starting to catch up with her head — which makes up just a third of her body size now. If you're having a girl, she now has more than 2 million eggs in her ovaries. Your baby is almost 3 inches long (the size of a medium shrimp) and weighs nearly an ounce.


Weight gain: 5 pounds.


Maternity clothes: You betcha!!  I pulled them out last weekend and as much as I hate them, I am officially in maternity pants.  I am still trying make do with my normal shirts but I am growing so differently this time and I really just look huge when I try to wear any of my regular clothes.


Gender: Who knows?  Skeet is thinking boy...


Movement: Not yet.  Occasionally I think I feel something but then I have to remind myself that it's still early.


Sleep: Can't get enough.  Especially because Sawyer isn't sleeping well lately.  I get up twice with him before I am up for the day.  So to say I am exhausted is an understatement.


Symptoms: Nausea, cramping, headaches, nausea, fatigue, sleepiness, nausea, tiredness!!


Cravings: It changes day to day.  Nothing has really stood out.  I just need to have something in my stomach at all times.  Things I can't eat include cooked veggies (broccoli, carrots, cauliflower, you name it), steak, anything diet (the aftertaste gets me) and that includes sugar free gum (sorry to anyone who has had to suffer from my bad breath)


Best moment lately:Nothing really big has happened this week.  Last week I was able to see the baby for a minute and it looked great!!


What I am looking forward to:We have an appointment in 2 weeks.  I doubt we'll get to find out what it is but you can bet I'll be asking Dr. S to take a look!!

10 Months Old

My little cutie is 10 months old today.  How the time has flown. I can't believe that in two short months we will be celebrating his first birthday!  It blows me away.  Even after 10 months I'll look at him, or go in to pick him up after a nap and I still get teary eyed and can't believe that he is mine.  That I am his mom!  He is just so amazing and the joy he brings to Skeet's and my life is just unmeasurable.  It makes me sad to think of our lives without him and then I am so grateful for everything and everyone that made him possible. 

Sawyer is turning into a little comedian.  He loves it when he can make us laugh.  Whether it's pulling a funny face, or dancing to any song that might be playing, if we laugh he laughs and then does it again.  He is such a tough boy too.  He rarely cries when he falls and if he does cry it's only for a second.  He got his first real boo boo this weekend when he misjudged the distance to grandma's coffee table and fell and hit his head on the sharp corner.  He had a little goose egg and red spot but recovered quickly. 

He has officially begun crawling and it is so fun to watch him explore.  He still prefers to walk while holding on to any one's hands but will crawl if that's his only option.  Skeet and I both love to watch him learn.  You can almost see his brain working and figuring stuff out. 

We try new foods all the time and he is getting a lot more grown-up food these days.  Recently he has had some chicken noodle soup or the carrots, potatoes, green beans, noodles and even a little chicken out of the soup.  He has had peaches, pears, pineapple and blueberries all of which he loved.  I'm not sure if he tried french toast before this last month (I can't remember) but he loves it when daddy makes breakfast because he always gets some.  He has also started to love scrambled eggs.  We gave him spaghetti and meat sauce the other night and I think once he figures out those noodles, he'll love it too.  We did figure out that he really doesn't like green baby food.  We've tried to get him to eat peas and green beans a few times and he gags and spits them out so we just mainly give him anything else.  Well lately his skin has been taking on a little bit of an orangish tone.  I am having jaundice flashbacks!!  It's nothing serious and it will go away as his tastes expand but I was pretty disappointed with myself for letting my baby turn orange! 

He is also only nursing at night and first thing in the morning now.  Getting him to take bottles from me was difficult at first but he is getting a lot better. I think it confuses him a little that I will nurse him sometimes and then make him take a bottle others.  I would be nursing more but pregnancy has made my milk supply all but dry up.  I even supplement a bottle at his last feeding because I am not sure how much milk he's actually getting from me.  I think it's more for comfort than anything else. 

He's still growing but it has slowed quite a bit.  He's still in 12 month clothes and is now in size 4 diapers.  I don't know when he'll need 18 month clothes but he has NONE so I might need to do a little shopping soon!  Yay!!

When we bought his carseat we went for safety and then we took into account the fact that we wanted it to last until he was a year or more so we got a seat with a 35 pound weight limit.  I didn't even think to look for height limits and Sawyer has officially reached the 30 inch height limit for his infant carrier so I recently bought him a convertible car seat.  We haven't tried it out yet but I think he'll love it because he'll be able to see out of the windows better and see what is going on.  He gets so bored in the car that he has taken to kicking the little mirror I have set up so that I can see him while I am driving. 

Sawyer is getting very vocal. He loves talking to daddy and telling him stories in his own baby language.  Some days I think he loves to hear himself and will make the same noise over and over and then laugh.  He tries really hard to say "uh oh" but can't quite get the "oh" part.  I think he'll have it soon.  I have heard him say both momma and dadda but he only does it when he's upset. 

Well I am sure I have gone on enough about our handsome, sweet little man so I'll share some pictures.  I have to say again how lucky I am to be his mom. I love how much he loves me too.  He is such a cuddler and loves to give me kisses.  I will be so sad when he decides he's too old for that. 

Stink bug sleeping

Loves having Daddy read to him.

Daddy reading the Tickle Moster book

Standing in his crib for the first time

Wiping mommy's face

Cruisin naked in the walker



Just hangin' out at Costco

Pregnancy

This pregnancy is going by so fast and is so different than my other two. I think the morning sickness has been much worse.  It also hasn't helped that I have had a "cold" for over a month now.  It started with a sore throat for about 2 weeks, then Sawyer got RSV and mine turned into a cough and stuffy nose, then just when I thought it was finally getting better... I got a terrible sinus infection.  Now, I am on a 14 day run of antibiotics to try to clear that up so that I can go back to just having morning sickness.  I have been on progesterone because my body can't produce enough of it on it's own to sustain a pregnancy.  The progesterone pills I have to take are HUGE and are capsule type pills that I can't seem to swallow.  They get stuck in my throat or I gag on them and most of you moms out there know that when you gag during the first trimester, you will most likely throw-up.  So needless to say, I hate these pills but I take them as best as I can because I know the baby needs them.  I am also taking a prenatal vitamin that is actually a 2 pill pack.  They are also very large pills and I feel them go all the way down my throat when I take them.  I get those down too because I know both the baby and Sawyer need them and I probably do too.  So when I went in to Dr. S and told him to give me something for the sinus infection NOW, I did mention that I didn't want to take anymore pills and that if he could give me a shot I would love that.  Well Dr. S has a great sense of humor.  I went to pick up my prescription, got it home and read the instructions.  "Take one capsule four times a day for fourteen days".  Yeah, huge capsules that I have to try to get down 4 times a day for 2 whole weeks! To add to the impossibility of this task, these capsules smell absolutely nasty and taste just as bad.  Not nice to do to a pregnant woman... not nice.  Occasionally I forget to take a pill or the nasty little thing just won't stay down so I miss a pill that day.  NOT GOOD!  If I miss just one pill, the sinus headache comes back in full force, to the point where I can barely move without some extreme pain shooting throughout my entire head, including my teeth and ears.  What does this very, very long description of my pill drama have to do with this pregnancy post.  Oh probably nothing but the fact that it's made dealing with the nausea of morning sickness that much worse! 

During my pregnancy with Sawyer I was so in heaven and so grateful to be pregnant that when I did have morning sickness I tried really hard not to complain because I knew how lucky I was to be having that experience.  This time around I feel a little guilty because I complain, a lot.  Don't get me wrong. I am so, so grateful.  I honestly never thought we would get pregnant so easily or so soon.  I know just how lucky I am and I don't want to be whiny or sound ungrateful but this time around I have a lot on my plate with work and school.  Oh and of course an adorable 10 month old who has completely stolen my heart.  I think I am most upset because the sickness and fatigue keep me from playing with him the way that I normally would.  I find myself wishing it were nap time so that I could lie down for a few minutes and I really hate that.  I used to wish he'd wake up so I could see his cute smile and try to make him laugh again.  I don't want Sawyer to have to suffer because I am pregnant.  Does that sound awful? I hope not.  I want to get as much Sawyer time in as I can while it is just him because I know that once the new baby comes things will be so different.  Fun and exciting, but different.  What ALL that was really supossed to say is that I am excited for the first trimester to be over because I am ready to have some energy and not feel like I need to throw-up every 5 minutes. 

It's so weird to me that this pregnancy wasn't planned.  At all.  I never, ever thought I'd say that!  With Avery, my pregnancy was planned right down to the second she was transferred into my uterus.  $25,000 worth of planning.  With Sawyer, the pregnancy was a surprise, only because we weren't planning on "trying" that month but we'd been trying for almost 4 years for him so he was definitely planned.  This time it came out of no where.  No we were not preventing but I was still nursing and we were trying to be "careful".  Skeet had given me a timeline, telling me that we would not be trying for a baby after he was 40 which in reality is only 3 years away.  That had me in a panic so my thought was to start trying as soon as Sawyer was a year old.  We are only 4 months ahead of schedule.  That's not too bad right?  I am starting to really get excited.  Wondering if it's a boy or a girl.  Thinking about all the fun we will have as a family of 4 (missing Avery every second of course).  Still, I can't help but worry about this baby's health.  I know it's a very slim chance that this baby will have OI type II like his/her sister but I can't help but worry.  I don't have a lot of time to sit and think about it but when I do, well let's just say that it doesn't help my already nauseated stomach.  I have 5 more weeks before I go back to Dr. S for another check -up and I really hope that at that point we might be able to get a little piece of mind.  As those who have had losses will tell you, it's really impossible to make plans because you always have that fear in the back of your mind, eating at you and making you question everything.  But I know that all I can do it pray, and be grateful that the Lord has blessed me once again, even if it is much easier said than done.

Pinterest

I don't know about you but I love Pinterest!  I don't have the time, energy or money to do anything that I find on that site but I love it anyway.  Someday I might be able to go back and do some crafts or make some of the goodies!  For Christmas for close friends this year I did some glass etching.  It was so much fun to see what I created turn out, and they looked good! Not that you can really tell by the pictures.  I just thought I'd share because I am so proud that I was able to do something, follow through with it, and have it actually look decent.  Doesn't happen often. 
The awesome thing is that I bought a Cricut Cake (used of course) and was able to use it to cut the vinyl I needed for this project.  I had so much fun trying out different styles and designs. 

I also attempted to decorate a 2 tier cake with fondant.  It was the first time I had ever made a 2 tier cake so I probably shouldn't have tried to decorate it too.  It turned out pretty awful but at least the cake tasted good. I hope to find time to use my Cricut cake (the first cake was free-handed and that is why I think it was awful) and get some practice so that I can make Sawyer's cake for his birthday. If I had time I would take a cake decorating class but I don't have much free time these days so if I can find an hour or two to practice here and there, that will have to be good enough.  I'd share a picture but I can't find one. 

One more thing I did find on Pinterest were"canvas" prints.  These are really just regular photo prints mod podged on to a piece of wood that has been painted.  I think they turned out great and was excited to give them to my parents for Christmas.  I am hoping to do it for a collage wall in my living room, if I ever get the time that is!

The Picture Says It All...

This photo shoot didn't go exactly how I planned. I wanted him to hold the paper while I shot a quick picture but every time I handed it to him he immediately wadded it up.  So here it is... you can tell how excited he is that sometime in mid-September he is going to have a new little brother or sister. 

We are thrilled of course!  It wasn't planned but it was a very happy surprise!  I am so very grateful because I honestly didn't think it would be that easy and I was really scared that it wouldn't happen at all.  I feel so blessed to have Avery and Sawyer and I knew that I shouldn't push it by asking for anything more but the Lord always has a different plan for us than we have for ourselves. We have no control and the sooner we accept that... the sooner we can learn to appreciate what we have been given and look forward to what is in store. 

I have been so hesitant to do this post.  First of all because it is still early.  We are only nine weeks along but I think we were only six when we announced with Sawyer.  Second, I know of so many people who have been praying for years for their first, or second baby and it just hasn't happened yet.  I feel so guilty that I have been so blessed once again to get pregnant without even trying.  I used to get so upset when I would hear about women like me.  I was so envious that they could get pregnant just by just having their husband look at them a certain way.  Now I am one of those women I always envied (resented) and I feel awful!  I shouldn't. I know that I shouldn't.  It was a very long road to get where we are at today. We went through so much heartache and pain but through it all we didn't give up and I believe that is why we are so blessed now.  But I can't help feel guilty and undeserving of so many blessings.  So I am sorry to anyone that might read this and feel sad.  I have been there, I know how it feels and I know there's never an easy way to find out this kind of news.  I also want you to know that I don't take a minute of it for granted. I know how very lucky I am, how blessed I am, and I thank my Heavenly Father every day for giving me this opportunity to be a mother to such amazing children.  I will do my best to remember that every day of the rest of my life too.  I never want to forget how much I longed for my children and how much joy they bring me every day. 

As far as finding out about this pregnancy goes... trust me, I was way more shocked than you!  I had no idea it was coming.  When I took that test I was just ruling it out before I went to the doctor.  My mom kept telling me to take a test and after the 5th time I finally did it so she would leave me alone.  I almost fainted when it turned positive immediately.  We were only going to wait until Sawyer was a year or maybe a few months older than that before we actively started trying again but we weren't doing all that well at preventing either - obviously. We never thought it would be that easy though.  Both Skeet and I could not believe it.  Actually, I didn't really start believing it until my appointment yesterday when I saw that cute, 1 inch long, gummy bear bouncing around and waving it's arms.  I was going to wait a little bit longer before announcing it to the world but because I didn't have much time to get my body back to normal after having Sawyer, I am already showing quite a bit and I am sure most people could guess my secret if they saw me at WalMart. 

Dr. Sanders seems thrilled for us too.  When I first saw him after the positive test he said "Wow, when that Ovarian Diathermy works, it really works!!" He's not kidding!!  Now I have him to thank (partially) for 2 miracles!!  We may have been able to do it without him but I doubt it! 

So there it is, our secret is out and we couldn't be happier! 

Time

Last week I got an amazing gift.  It came under not so great circumstances but it was amazing all the same.  My poor little boy tested positive for RSV.  It wasn't a severe case of it, he just had a very snotty, runny nose and a really bad cough.  However, because RSV is VERY contagious and can be very dangerous for little babies, we had to keep him home from daycare.  I took 3 days off and Skeet took 2 so that we could keep him home all week until the RSV cleared up.  This is where the gift comes in, we got the gift of time.  Time with our little man that we normally wouldn't have had.  I think I treasured this gift especially because unlike Skeet, I have been working full-time since I went back to work (Skeet was off for 2 month so he spent a lot more time with Sawyer than I did).  Don't get me wrong, I would never, ever wish for Sawyer to be sick.  I hate seeing him sick and miserable with nothing I can do to help him.  But I know that his sickness could have been a lot worse, and he was in pretty good spirits most of the time.  So I was given an extra 3 days to hang out with my little boy.  I was able to watch him grow and learn and it was the BEST. WEEK. EVER!  He is at such a fun age.  He is learning so much and is so very smart.  His daddy and I are so proud of him and we both get so excited when he does something new. 

This last week I saw my little boy:
Get 2 new top teeth - that caused more pain and grief than the RSV did.
Learn to wave Bye-Bye and Hello and use it in the right context.
Pull himself up on furniture and walk along it.
Crawl forward on his hands and knees (he still only does this if he's not really thinking about it.  As soon as he realizes what he's doing he starts going backwards again).
Give himself kisses in the mirror.
Give mommy hugs and kisses when she asks for them.
Point to mommy's nose and eyes.
Clapping his hands by himself ( he still only does it some of the time but he's getting better)
Master the use of his walker.  He can really cruise in that thing.  This includes backing up and 3-point turns.  He will stay in that thing for hours doing laps of the kitchen and living room.  He especially loves it when we let Callie in and he can chase her down.  She hates the walker but Sawyer LOVES it!!

I love to see the look of pride on Sawyer's face when he does something new.  I walked in to his room one day to find him standing up in his crib.  Of course my first reaction was to cry because we had gone so long on the top setting of the crib with nothing to worry about, but now my little boy was big enough to pull himself up and the grin on his face showed just how proud he was of that accomplishment.  Of course I had daddy lower the mattress as soon as he got home that night so that we wouldn't have any problems with a little boy falling out on his head. When he first started really waving Bye-Bye he looked up at me with a "look Mommy I did it" look that just brought me to tears.  I know that had he been at daycare I would have eventually seen him do these things and it would have been wonderful but because I was home with him, I feel like I had a part in teaching him these new tricks and that I was the one to see them for the first time. 

This last week I was also able to get Sawyer to take formula from a bottle for his daytime feedings instead of nursing.  I would have loved to nurse him but it seems that my milk has decided to dry up.  I am still trying to nurse him at night and in the mornings but when I was pumping I was only getting an ounce or two and I knew that it wasn't enough for him.  So he is officially on formula during the day and as much as I miss the bonding, I am surprisingly okay with it.  It took a while for him to want to take a bottle of that stinky stuff from me.  He'd take it from Daddy much easier but I think once he realized that I would still hold and cuddle him while he ate, he was able to accept that it was just the way it is going to be.  He still fights me on it once and a while but the fights don't last too long and he usually gives in.  One thing I won't miss is pumping at work.  I am sure my bosses won't miss that either.  It took a huge chunk out of my day. 

With all the extra time we had, I was also able to get Sawyer to try some new foods and we have a new favorite, blueberry muffins.  I know, not the healthiest thing for him to eat but we don't make them very often and it was so fun to see him so excited to eat.  He did get a lot of fruit popsicles too because of his sore gums.  He's had real bananas, cheerios, peaches, cottage cheese, broccoli and carrots.  He will try anything we give him at least once.
 He is such a good boy!  I just feel so dang lucky to be his mom.  I don't think I deserve this joy and happiness that he brings me but I will take it and I will be grateful every day for him.  I wish I had more time with him.  Taking him back to daycare was so hard.  I wish so badly that there was something I could do right now so that I could spend more time with him but it's just not possible.  I can guarantee though, that I will be looking at every option and keeping an open mind and if something happens to come up that will give me even a few more hours a day with him, I will make whatever sacrifice it takes to do it.  It is so worth it.  I never thought I would envy moms that stay at home but I do, so so much.  I hope someday I will at least be at home part time. So I can be a  bigger part of my child's life!