10 Months Old

My little cutie is 10 months old today.  How the time has flown. I can't believe that in two short months we will be celebrating his first birthday!  It blows me away.  Even after 10 months I'll look at him, or go in to pick him up after a nap and I still get teary eyed and can't believe that he is mine.  That I am his mom!  He is just so amazing and the joy he brings to Skeet's and my life is just unmeasurable.  It makes me sad to think of our lives without him and then I am so grateful for everything and everyone that made him possible. 

Sawyer is turning into a little comedian.  He loves it when he can make us laugh.  Whether it's pulling a funny face, or dancing to any song that might be playing, if we laugh he laughs and then does it again.  He is such a tough boy too.  He rarely cries when he falls and if he does cry it's only for a second.  He got his first real boo boo this weekend when he misjudged the distance to grandma's coffee table and fell and hit his head on the sharp corner.  He had a little goose egg and red spot but recovered quickly. 

He has officially begun crawling and it is so fun to watch him explore.  He still prefers to walk while holding on to any one's hands but will crawl if that's his only option.  Skeet and I both love to watch him learn.  You can almost see his brain working and figuring stuff out. 

We try new foods all the time and he is getting a lot more grown-up food these days.  Recently he has had some chicken noodle soup or the carrots, potatoes, green beans, noodles and even a little chicken out of the soup.  He has had peaches, pears, pineapple and blueberries all of which he loved.  I'm not sure if he tried french toast before this last month (I can't remember) but he loves it when daddy makes breakfast because he always gets some.  He has also started to love scrambled eggs.  We gave him spaghetti and meat sauce the other night and I think once he figures out those noodles, he'll love it too.  We did figure out that he really doesn't like green baby food.  We've tried to get him to eat peas and green beans a few times and he gags and spits them out so we just mainly give him anything else.  Well lately his skin has been taking on a little bit of an orangish tone.  I am having jaundice flashbacks!!  It's nothing serious and it will go away as his tastes expand but I was pretty disappointed with myself for letting my baby turn orange! 

He is also only nursing at night and first thing in the morning now.  Getting him to take bottles from me was difficult at first but he is getting a lot better. I think it confuses him a little that I will nurse him sometimes and then make him take a bottle others.  I would be nursing more but pregnancy has made my milk supply all but dry up.  I even supplement a bottle at his last feeding because I am not sure how much milk he's actually getting from me.  I think it's more for comfort than anything else. 

He's still growing but it has slowed quite a bit.  He's still in 12 month clothes and is now in size 4 diapers.  I don't know when he'll need 18 month clothes but he has NONE so I might need to do a little shopping soon!  Yay!!

When we bought his carseat we went for safety and then we took into account the fact that we wanted it to last until he was a year or more so we got a seat with a 35 pound weight limit.  I didn't even think to look for height limits and Sawyer has officially reached the 30 inch height limit for his infant carrier so I recently bought him a convertible car seat.  We haven't tried it out yet but I think he'll love it because he'll be able to see out of the windows better and see what is going on.  He gets so bored in the car that he has taken to kicking the little mirror I have set up so that I can see him while I am driving. 

Sawyer is getting very vocal. He loves talking to daddy and telling him stories in his own baby language.  Some days I think he loves to hear himself and will make the same noise over and over and then laugh.  He tries really hard to say "uh oh" but can't quite get the "oh" part.  I think he'll have it soon.  I have heard him say both momma and dadda but he only does it when he's upset. 

Well I am sure I have gone on enough about our handsome, sweet little man so I'll share some pictures.  I have to say again how lucky I am to be his mom. I love how much he loves me too.  He is such a cuddler and loves to give me kisses.  I will be so sad when he decides he's too old for that. 

Stink bug sleeping

Loves having Daddy read to him.

Daddy reading the Tickle Moster book

Standing in his crib for the first time

Wiping mommy's face

Cruisin naked in the walker



Just hangin' out at Costco

Pregnancy

This pregnancy is going by so fast and is so different than my other two. I think the morning sickness has been much worse.  It also hasn't helped that I have had a "cold" for over a month now.  It started with a sore throat for about 2 weeks, then Sawyer got RSV and mine turned into a cough and stuffy nose, then just when I thought it was finally getting better... I got a terrible sinus infection.  Now, I am on a 14 day run of antibiotics to try to clear that up so that I can go back to just having morning sickness.  I have been on progesterone because my body can't produce enough of it on it's own to sustain a pregnancy.  The progesterone pills I have to take are HUGE and are capsule type pills that I can't seem to swallow.  They get stuck in my throat or I gag on them and most of you moms out there know that when you gag during the first trimester, you will most likely throw-up.  So needless to say, I hate these pills but I take them as best as I can because I know the baby needs them.  I am also taking a prenatal vitamin that is actually a 2 pill pack.  They are also very large pills and I feel them go all the way down my throat when I take them.  I get those down too because I know both the baby and Sawyer need them and I probably do too.  So when I went in to Dr. S and told him to give me something for the sinus infection NOW, I did mention that I didn't want to take anymore pills and that if he could give me a shot I would love that.  Well Dr. S has a great sense of humor.  I went to pick up my prescription, got it home and read the instructions.  "Take one capsule four times a day for fourteen days".  Yeah, huge capsules that I have to try to get down 4 times a day for 2 whole weeks! To add to the impossibility of this task, these capsules smell absolutely nasty and taste just as bad.  Not nice to do to a pregnant woman... not nice.  Occasionally I forget to take a pill or the nasty little thing just won't stay down so I miss a pill that day.  NOT GOOD!  If I miss just one pill, the sinus headache comes back in full force, to the point where I can barely move without some extreme pain shooting throughout my entire head, including my teeth and ears.  What does this very, very long description of my pill drama have to do with this pregnancy post.  Oh probably nothing but the fact that it's made dealing with the nausea of morning sickness that much worse! 

During my pregnancy with Sawyer I was so in heaven and so grateful to be pregnant that when I did have morning sickness I tried really hard not to complain because I knew how lucky I was to be having that experience.  This time around I feel a little guilty because I complain, a lot.  Don't get me wrong. I am so, so grateful.  I honestly never thought we would get pregnant so easily or so soon.  I know just how lucky I am and I don't want to be whiny or sound ungrateful but this time around I have a lot on my plate with work and school.  Oh and of course an adorable 10 month old who has completely stolen my heart.  I think I am most upset because the sickness and fatigue keep me from playing with him the way that I normally would.  I find myself wishing it were nap time so that I could lie down for a few minutes and I really hate that.  I used to wish he'd wake up so I could see his cute smile and try to make him laugh again.  I don't want Sawyer to have to suffer because I am pregnant.  Does that sound awful? I hope not.  I want to get as much Sawyer time in as I can while it is just him because I know that once the new baby comes things will be so different.  Fun and exciting, but different.  What ALL that was really supossed to say is that I am excited for the first trimester to be over because I am ready to have some energy and not feel like I need to throw-up every 5 minutes. 

It's so weird to me that this pregnancy wasn't planned.  At all.  I never, ever thought I'd say that!  With Avery, my pregnancy was planned right down to the second she was transferred into my uterus.  $25,000 worth of planning.  With Sawyer, the pregnancy was a surprise, only because we weren't planning on "trying" that month but we'd been trying for almost 4 years for him so he was definitely planned.  This time it came out of no where.  No we were not preventing but I was still nursing and we were trying to be "careful".  Skeet had given me a timeline, telling me that we would not be trying for a baby after he was 40 which in reality is only 3 years away.  That had me in a panic so my thought was to start trying as soon as Sawyer was a year old.  We are only 4 months ahead of schedule.  That's not too bad right?  I am starting to really get excited.  Wondering if it's a boy or a girl.  Thinking about all the fun we will have as a family of 4 (missing Avery every second of course).  Still, I can't help but worry about this baby's health.  I know it's a very slim chance that this baby will have OI type II like his/her sister but I can't help but worry.  I don't have a lot of time to sit and think about it but when I do, well let's just say that it doesn't help my already nauseated stomach.  I have 5 more weeks before I go back to Dr. S for another check -up and I really hope that at that point we might be able to get a little piece of mind.  As those who have had losses will tell you, it's really impossible to make plans because you always have that fear in the back of your mind, eating at you and making you question everything.  But I know that all I can do it pray, and be grateful that the Lord has blessed me once again, even if it is much easier said than done.

Pinterest

I don't know about you but I love Pinterest!  I don't have the time, energy or money to do anything that I find on that site but I love it anyway.  Someday I might be able to go back and do some crafts or make some of the goodies!  For Christmas for close friends this year I did some glass etching.  It was so much fun to see what I created turn out, and they looked good! Not that you can really tell by the pictures.  I just thought I'd share because I am so proud that I was able to do something, follow through with it, and have it actually look decent.  Doesn't happen often. 
The awesome thing is that I bought a Cricut Cake (used of course) and was able to use it to cut the vinyl I needed for this project.  I had so much fun trying out different styles and designs. 

I also attempted to decorate a 2 tier cake with fondant.  It was the first time I had ever made a 2 tier cake so I probably shouldn't have tried to decorate it too.  It turned out pretty awful but at least the cake tasted good. I hope to find time to use my Cricut cake (the first cake was free-handed and that is why I think it was awful) and get some practice so that I can make Sawyer's cake for his birthday. If I had time I would take a cake decorating class but I don't have much free time these days so if I can find an hour or two to practice here and there, that will have to be good enough.  I'd share a picture but I can't find one. 

One more thing I did find on Pinterest were"canvas" prints.  These are really just regular photo prints mod podged on to a piece of wood that has been painted.  I think they turned out great and was excited to give them to my parents for Christmas.  I am hoping to do it for a collage wall in my living room, if I ever get the time that is!

The Picture Says It All...

This photo shoot didn't go exactly how I planned. I wanted him to hold the paper while I shot a quick picture but every time I handed it to him he immediately wadded it up.  So here it is... you can tell how excited he is that sometime in mid-September he is going to have a new little brother or sister. 

We are thrilled of course!  It wasn't planned but it was a very happy surprise!  I am so very grateful because I honestly didn't think it would be that easy and I was really scared that it wouldn't happen at all.  I feel so blessed to have Avery and Sawyer and I knew that I shouldn't push it by asking for anything more but the Lord always has a different plan for us than we have for ourselves. We have no control and the sooner we accept that... the sooner we can learn to appreciate what we have been given and look forward to what is in store. 

I have been so hesitant to do this post.  First of all because it is still early.  We are only nine weeks along but I think we were only six when we announced with Sawyer.  Second, I know of so many people who have been praying for years for their first, or second baby and it just hasn't happened yet.  I feel so guilty that I have been so blessed once again to get pregnant without even trying.  I used to get so upset when I would hear about women like me.  I was so envious that they could get pregnant just by just having their husband look at them a certain way.  Now I am one of those women I always envied (resented) and I feel awful!  I shouldn't. I know that I shouldn't.  It was a very long road to get where we are at today. We went through so much heartache and pain but through it all we didn't give up and I believe that is why we are so blessed now.  But I can't help feel guilty and undeserving of so many blessings.  So I am sorry to anyone that might read this and feel sad.  I have been there, I know how it feels and I know there's never an easy way to find out this kind of news.  I also want you to know that I don't take a minute of it for granted. I know how very lucky I am, how blessed I am, and I thank my Heavenly Father every day for giving me this opportunity to be a mother to such amazing children.  I will do my best to remember that every day of the rest of my life too.  I never want to forget how much I longed for my children and how much joy they bring me every day. 

As far as finding out about this pregnancy goes... trust me, I was way more shocked than you!  I had no idea it was coming.  When I took that test I was just ruling it out before I went to the doctor.  My mom kept telling me to take a test and after the 5th time I finally did it so she would leave me alone.  I almost fainted when it turned positive immediately.  We were only going to wait until Sawyer was a year or maybe a few months older than that before we actively started trying again but we weren't doing all that well at preventing either - obviously. We never thought it would be that easy though.  Both Skeet and I could not believe it.  Actually, I didn't really start believing it until my appointment yesterday when I saw that cute, 1 inch long, gummy bear bouncing around and waving it's arms.  I was going to wait a little bit longer before announcing it to the world but because I didn't have much time to get my body back to normal after having Sawyer, I am already showing quite a bit and I am sure most people could guess my secret if they saw me at WalMart. 

Dr. Sanders seems thrilled for us too.  When I first saw him after the positive test he said "Wow, when that Ovarian Diathermy works, it really works!!" He's not kidding!!  Now I have him to thank (partially) for 2 miracles!!  We may have been able to do it without him but I doubt it! 

So there it is, our secret is out and we couldn't be happier! 

Time

Last week I got an amazing gift.  It came under not so great circumstances but it was amazing all the same.  My poor little boy tested positive for RSV.  It wasn't a severe case of it, he just had a very snotty, runny nose and a really bad cough.  However, because RSV is VERY contagious and can be very dangerous for little babies, we had to keep him home from daycare.  I took 3 days off and Skeet took 2 so that we could keep him home all week until the RSV cleared up.  This is where the gift comes in, we got the gift of time.  Time with our little man that we normally wouldn't have had.  I think I treasured this gift especially because unlike Skeet, I have been working full-time since I went back to work (Skeet was off for 2 month so he spent a lot more time with Sawyer than I did).  Don't get me wrong, I would never, ever wish for Sawyer to be sick.  I hate seeing him sick and miserable with nothing I can do to help him.  But I know that his sickness could have been a lot worse, and he was in pretty good spirits most of the time.  So I was given an extra 3 days to hang out with my little boy.  I was able to watch him grow and learn and it was the BEST. WEEK. EVER!  He is at such a fun age.  He is learning so much and is so very smart.  His daddy and I are so proud of him and we both get so excited when he does something new. 

This last week I saw my little boy:
Get 2 new top teeth - that caused more pain and grief than the RSV did.
Learn to wave Bye-Bye and Hello and use it in the right context.
Pull himself up on furniture and walk along it.
Crawl forward on his hands and knees (he still only does this if he's not really thinking about it.  As soon as he realizes what he's doing he starts going backwards again).
Give himself kisses in the mirror.
Give mommy hugs and kisses when she asks for them.
Point to mommy's nose and eyes.
Clapping his hands by himself ( he still only does it some of the time but he's getting better)
Master the use of his walker.  He can really cruise in that thing.  This includes backing up and 3-point turns.  He will stay in that thing for hours doing laps of the kitchen and living room.  He especially loves it when we let Callie in and he can chase her down.  She hates the walker but Sawyer LOVES it!!

I love to see the look of pride on Sawyer's face when he does something new.  I walked in to his room one day to find him standing up in his crib.  Of course my first reaction was to cry because we had gone so long on the top setting of the crib with nothing to worry about, but now my little boy was big enough to pull himself up and the grin on his face showed just how proud he was of that accomplishment.  Of course I had daddy lower the mattress as soon as he got home that night so that we wouldn't have any problems with a little boy falling out on his head. When he first started really waving Bye-Bye he looked up at me with a "look Mommy I did it" look that just brought me to tears.  I know that had he been at daycare I would have eventually seen him do these things and it would have been wonderful but because I was home with him, I feel like I had a part in teaching him these new tricks and that I was the one to see them for the first time. 

This last week I was also able to get Sawyer to take formula from a bottle for his daytime feedings instead of nursing.  I would have loved to nurse him but it seems that my milk has decided to dry up.  I am still trying to nurse him at night and in the mornings but when I was pumping I was only getting an ounce or two and I knew that it wasn't enough for him.  So he is officially on formula during the day and as much as I miss the bonding, I am surprisingly okay with it.  It took a while for him to want to take a bottle of that stinky stuff from me.  He'd take it from Daddy much easier but I think once he realized that I would still hold and cuddle him while he ate, he was able to accept that it was just the way it is going to be.  He still fights me on it once and a while but the fights don't last too long and he usually gives in.  One thing I won't miss is pumping at work.  I am sure my bosses won't miss that either.  It took a huge chunk out of my day. 

With all the extra time we had, I was also able to get Sawyer to try some new foods and we have a new favorite, blueberry muffins.  I know, not the healthiest thing for him to eat but we don't make them very often and it was so fun to see him so excited to eat.  He did get a lot of fruit popsicles too because of his sore gums.  He's had real bananas, cheerios, peaches, cottage cheese, broccoli and carrots.  He will try anything we give him at least once.
 He is such a good boy!  I just feel so dang lucky to be his mom.  I don't think I deserve this joy and happiness that he brings me but I will take it and I will be grateful every day for him.  I wish I had more time with him.  Taking him back to daycare was so hard.  I wish so badly that there was something I could do right now so that I could spend more time with him but it's just not possible.  I can guarantee though, that I will be looking at every option and keeping an open mind and if something happens to come up that will give me even a few more hours a day with him, I will make whatever sacrifice it takes to do it.  It is so worth it.  I never thought I would envy moms that stay at home but I do, so so much.  I hope someday I will at least be at home part time. So I can be a  bigger part of my child's life!