It's been 2 years

2 years ago today I received a phone call from a man that I have come to love and respect, Dr. Sanders. He had called to tell me, in a round about way, that I was finally pregnant! I look back on that day now and it seems like it was a hundred years ago. It's been 2 years and we still have no baby to hold but when you are a childless mother .... 2 years seems like an eternity. The emotions I felt on that day, I will never forget. Excitement, happiness, anxiousness... it was all there but mostly, I just couldn't believe it. I was finally going to have what I had prayed for-for so long . At that moment I had no idea, and would have never believed, what was to come. As I was calling Skeet to tell him the good news, never once did I think that 2 years down the road I would still be missing my little girl who we held only for a moment before we had to say goodbye.
I look back now and miss those days of ignorance. I miss being able to believe that something like losing a child would never happen to me. However, at the same time I am grateful for what I have learned and for how I have grown over the last 2 years. I still miss my baby girl as much as I did the day we said goodbye but I am such a stronger person because of it all.
Hopefully... just two months from now I will be getting a similar phone call from one of my doctors, giving me the same good news that I received 2 years ago today. I know that this time I will worry constantly that the outcome may be the same but I will also be so happy that I have been given another chance to be a mother on this earth.