For Me

This post is for me, so that if I ever do have another baby I can look back and compare.  I also want to record some more things that I want to remember about this age with Sawyer.

I am almost 5 months postpartum.  Right now my hair is falling out in big handfuls, my arms have little red bumps up and down them (that the dermatologist has said isn't easy to get rid of and incredibly common) and although I have lost all of my pregnancy weight, my body is flabby and saggy all over.  The acne that I suffered from the first couple of months has cleared up pretty good with a couple of exceptions here and there.  I fit in my pre-pregnancy clothes for the most part but most just don't fit right because I am still sporting a very flabby pooch around my tummy area.  I am okay if my pants are cut a little higher cause I can tuck it in but the low cut pants will have to stay in the closet indefinitely.  The stretch marks that I thought that I would hate are lightening up a ton (thanks to Bio Oil) and are just another reminder of the miracle that I hold in my arms every day.  I don't love them but they are endearing for sure. 

Breastfeeding is still going well.  I am able to pump enough at work, usually, to get Sawyer through the next day at the sitters and even have some extra to put in his cereal at night.  I have cut dairy and chocolate completely from my diet.  Dairy gives Sawyer a rumbly tummy and some pretty watery diapers.  Chocolate just makes him scream and I mean SCREAM!  We learned that early on and it was reaffirmed a time or two when we weren't sure if it was the chocolate or something else.  If I eat an excess of raw onions (which I don't usually do) that will give him a tummy ache as well.  Too much caffiene causes tummy problems too so I try to go easy on it but it is necessary from time to time.  On the plus side, I think that cutting dairy has really helped me with my weight loss.  I still eat a ton and not the healthiest diet but I have dropped 6 pounds in the last few weeks and it looks like I might be still losing weight.  Now if I could only find the energy and time to do some weight training and running and I might actually have a body that doesn't gross me out when I look in the mirror. 

Sawyer is growing so fast and getting cuter every day.  His smiles seriously make me ridiculously happy and his laughs just about put me over the edge.  I think when he smiles it makes everyone happy. I know that my parents both agree that they brighten their day for sure!  I am going to miss his toothless grin and his cute little giggle.  I know it will change as he gets older and it will probably still be cute but it won't be the same. 
I am also going to miss his soft skin.  I knew babies had soft skin but it is crazy soft.  I love to hold on to his little hand while I am feeding him or while he is sleeping and just rub it across my cheek or lips.  It always smells good too! 
I love his natural mohawk and will miss how it is always sticking up in every direction and there is nothing I can do about it.  It is starting to get really long on top but the thought of cutting it makes me want to cry.  Maybe we'll see how long we can get it before Daddy makes me cut it!
I love how when he's eating he wants so badly to look around and see what's going on.  He'll eat for a while and then it's almost like he can't take it anymore and pulls off dramatically, lays his head back and just looks all over the place all at once.  After a while he'll eat some more and then do the same thing again.  It is too cute and always makes me laugh. 
I will miss the way he smiles with his tongue and how when he thinks something funny he'll blow a raspberry/spit instead of laughing.  And also how he likes to talk around his fingers or binkie.  He likes to blow raspberries when he's got them in his mouth too. 
He is getting really good at taking his binkie but he's getting even better at spitting it out.  Sometimes when I put it in his mouth he'll suck on it for a second and then spit it out as hard as he can and it makes a popping noise and shoots a few feet.  He'll do it in his sleep too.  I'll put him to bed with it in his mouth and watch on the video monitor as he shoots it across his crib. 
He has a new thing where he'll hide his head in my shoulder when someone talks to him or looks at him while I am holding him.  Like he's shy or something.  So cute!!
He hardly cries anymore.  He has a whine that he does when he's hungry or tired and I can usually tell which is which by his schedule.  The whine is pretty cute and I can honestly say I will miss it because I am sure when he gets older he'll still whine but it won't be as cute!

I am sure I have a ton more but that's all I can think of at the moment.  Skeet will be home tonight and I am so looking forward to a day off with him.  We haven't had a day off together since I went back to work (which was over 2 months ago).  It will be nice to have some time as a family!!