Looking Back..

I can't believe that a year has come and went since I got my first surprise positive pregnancy test and I didn't even blog about it!!  I remember being in denial about it, thinking there was no way it could really be true and that I was just going to be disappointed yet again.  This time last year I was still trying to convince myself that I was in fact pregnant.  I hadn't shared the news with the world yet so I was trying hard to keep it a secret.  It was the beginning of Fall semester and I was dealing with morning sickness, bloating, and some major fatigue but I was going to work and to class and keeping myself as composed as I could.  We are back to the beginning of Fall semester and I am still working and going to class but now my thoughts are usually on my little boy and I am always looking forward to seeing him again.  I count down the minutes until I can pick him up from the baby sitter, cuddle him, and smell and kiss his head.  A year ago I didn't know what to expect.  Now my life is forever changed.  My priorities have changed.  My attitude towards life has changed.  I can finally say after years of sadness, frustration, and depression that I am truly happy.  I am in love with my son and I have fallen in love with my husband all over again.  He is an amazing father.  I didn't know that I could love him more than I did and then I met Skeet, the Dad, and found a love for him on a whole new level.  I am so proud of him and how he has taken to being a parent.  I love how he is willing to help me with anything and everything.  I love that he looks forward to his time with his family and that he misses us (mostly Sawyer) when we are apart.  I know he missed me before when he would leave but I think it's so much more now.  Sawyer adores him and he lights up as soon as his Daddy walks into the room.  I just know that they are going to be the best of friends and that thought makes me so incredibly happy and hopeful for the future!  It's crazy to look back to my pregnancy and remember how scared Skeet was (we both were) and how he was so hesitant to let himself get excited.  I think if we do get the chance to get pregnant again it will be so different for both of us.  This past year has flown by but we have grown so much.  Isn't it funny how something can change you so completely over night?  Being a mom is the best job in the world!!