Late Valentine

Well Skeet has been out of town for 18 days now. He has been in Huntsville, TX helping with their prescribed burns and clearing the forest a little bit. He usually makes a trip or two to Texas every spring before fire season starts, and every spring I miss him even more. Luckily this time I have had plenty of school and painting to keep me busy so that the time went by pretty quickly. So tomorrow night when he gets home I will have a late Valentine's dinner waiting for him and some very much needed (on both parts) hugs and kisses.

Here are some pictures of what I have done while he has been gone.

I am almost done painting the entertainment center, I only have the bottom sections to do and I hope to finish them tomorrow morning. And yes, that TV you see is our NEW TV. The one we had up there when he left was ancient (my parents have had it for probably 15 years) and there was a good deal at the Boulevard so I went and got us a new one. It is small but when we can afford a bigger one then we will move this one into our bedroom.

I finally finished my shelf and my dad helped to me to get it on the wall. I think I put it too high and so I haven't hung the pictures yet so they are just sitting on the shelf. Skeet doesn't want me to lower it because I would have to drill more holes in the wall, but you won't be able to see the holes so I am still working on getting his permission.

I finally decided to change my hair. I am growing it out so that I can donate it to Locks of Love and because of that I couldn't do much to it, so I decided to cut bangs. (Thanks Kristie!) It isn't a huge change but it is a little different than what I have had for the past 3 years! I am still trying to get used to them. Here is a before picture to compare. ( I took these with my phone to send to Skeet. He insists on at least one picture a day)

I am thinking I look much better without bangs so I will be growing them back out. Lucky for me my hair grows fast!

Even though the 19 days went by fast it feels like it's been months since I have seen him. A few things I have enjoyed are having the TV to myself and not having to watch one Simpsons episode. I have also enjoyed hogging the bed and being able to fall asleep with no TV in the background. I haven't had to feel guilty about the time I spend on homework and my house has stayed pretty clean! There hasn't been hardly any laundry to do and I don't have anyone to fight for the laptop.

None of that, however, is worth what I have missed. I have missed seeing his smiling, welcoming face when I come home from class and hearing him tell Callie that Mom's home. I have missed his big bear hugs that make me feel so safe and loved. I miss the way he smells right out of the shower and the way he likes to walk around the house in his boxers! I miss how his warm feet always welcome my ice cold piggies (toes, piggies is his term.. I love it) at night when we get into bed. I miss being able to snuggle up to his warm body when I get cold and his sweet goodnight kisses. I miss that he warms up my car in the morning even if it's just to get all the frost off of it so it's ready to go when I am running late (which is every day). I miss all the little things that I take for granted when he is around.

I truly believe that his job and his absences because of it have made our marriage so much stronger. We learn to appreciate each other so much more because of the time that we have to spend apart. I am so thankful for him and his willingness to work so hard so that we can have all that we need. We may not have it all, but we have each other, and that is enough.

On another note, it is usually around this time of year that I am preparing to buy tickets to Rascal Flatts' Vegas show... unfortunately they have yet to post a Vegas date. I am getting a little antsy and anxious. I even had a dream about a RF concert last night. I am so ready to see them again! They put on a great show. Charise will be coming to visit at the end of March so now I am hoping that they will end up coming to Vegas while she is here. She shares my obsession (almost as much) and we have gone to the concert "together" for the past couple of years.

Before I end this novel, I just wanted to share an experience I had last night while I was sitting on the couch watching Grey's. I was cuddled up under a blanket trying to get warm and had my arms positioned as I would if I had a huge pregnant belly between them. Now I didn't realize that they were in this position until I had a flashback of sitting in that exact position while pregnant with Avery, and singing "You Are My Sunshine" to her. And for a short moment last night I could almost feel her inside me again. I felt, for that split second, like I was pregnant and it was the strangest thing. When I think back to my pregnancy I can't really remember what it was like to have the big swollen stomach. It's almost like my brain blocks any memory of that feeling. I remember being pregnant but I can't picture it or remember how it felt, and I have wanted to so badly. So this little flashback I had last night was very welcomed but it made me cry. It only added to the intense desire I have to be pregnant again. It is such an amazing experience to find out that you are expecting and immediately have a love for the baby growing inside of you. Even if you don't know the gender or what they will look like, you love him/her and it only grows with each passing day. Then, once you start to show that love intensifies and honestly, only someone who has been there would know what I am talking about. I want to feel that again, more than anything else in this world. I can only pray that the Lord has planned that for me in the future.